No husband owns his wife’s body

I know some of you will start bleeding from your eyes because of this claiming you paid bride price. How much is the bride price you paid compared to how much damage you are doing to your wife’s body and psyche because you believe you own her?

A story made rounds recently about a couple who were having a big fight. Wife was breaking properties at home and husband was confused. He ran to their neighbors house to ask for help.

When neighbour arrived, the woman said husband connived with a doctor to remove her womb without telling her. She didn’t consent to it. They didn’t inform her. They just went ahead to perform a hysterectomy on her. She felt stripped.

Husband said he did it because he didn’t want any more children. He complained to neighbour that he told his wife he wanted only three children but wife gave birth to five kids. He said she wants to kill him with responsibilities.

Husband justified his actions because he’s her husband and he knows what’s best for her body and their family. Husband said he did what was best for his wife and family but wife felt betrayed. She said he didn’t have the right to do such a thing to her body without her consent.

Nigerians were divided on this matter. One side agreed with the man that he is justified in his actions. They claimed that a husband owns his wife and so has the right to do whatever he wants with her body. They said its our culture. They also quoted some Bible verses for added measure.

On the other side were sane people who knew that it was wrong for a man to plan with a medical doctor to perform a hysterectomy on his wife without her knowledge and consent. They asked what if there was complications, how will the woman know what was wrong with her?

These people noted that no matter how much bride price a man paid on a woman, he doesn’t own her. She’s a human being with capacity ?and ability to take decisions about her body.

If the man didn’t want children anymore, why didn’t he tell you the doctor to do a vasectomy on him? What is he doing with all the sperm in his penis since he doesn’t want more children?

Why must women bear the brunt of family planning in this part of the world? What happened to men taking the lead by getting vasectomies? Why do they think it’s right to put women through the body changing and many side effects of different family planning procedures?

Why can’t these men use condoms too? Why can’t they go through vasectomy or is there a law forbidding Nigerian men from having vasectomies? What is wrong in using condom with your wife since you don’t want more children too?

You don’t own a woman. You don’t own your wife. You don’t have the right to do whatever you please with her body. She’s your wife, your partner, your equal, not your slave. It’s sad that this country is messed up. If not, many Nigerian men would be in jail for tampering with their wives’ bodies, raping them and maltreating them.

The most annoying aspect of the story I narrated was when a TV presenter Tope Mike-Odigie goofed on national TV by saying the man owns the woman, owns her body and can do whatever he wants because he bought her. I felt like dragging her by the hair after watching that annoying video.

It’s upsetting that a perceived educated woman would go on air to vomit such nonsense regarding a sensitive issue. I am appalled that instead of using her platform to liberate women from the shackles of patriarchy, she’s chaining them the more with her terrible mindset.

Do you know how many men would watch that video and go back home to brag to their wives that they own them and there’s nothing they can do about it? Do you know how many abusers that presenter has emboldened with her silly submission on who owns a woman’s womb?

I am still trying to wrap my head around it. Who owns a woman’s womb? What kind of question is that? The carrier of the womb is the owner of the womb or what are we disputing here?

Do women tell men they own their penis and can cut it off while they are sleeping because they don’t want more children? No man owns a woman’s womb or body. Her body is hers. Husband, you don’t own your wife. You don’t own her body. Get that into your head.