It’s not uncommon to depend on your partner while you are in a relationship but if you cannot make a move, express an opinion or stay around people for long, then you might be dependent on your partner.
When you are in love with someone, you want to spend every moment with your partner, but it can quickly spiral out of control and be a cause of concern if you become dependent on your partner without having a life of your own.
One sad thing about being too dependent on your partner is that you will lose your identity. It will make you stop functioning independently inside your relationship. You forget yourself because you want to do everything possible to please your partner.
If you are not careful, love can turn into fear in your relationship. Instead of loving your partner, you might suddenly become afraid of losing them. When fear presides over a relationship, the relationship becomes destructive and drains you both.
Alienation from family and friends
If you have alienated yourself from family and friends, you are depending too much on your partner. You haven’t seen your friends and family in so long that you have almost forgotten what they look like. Alienation while in a relationship is a serious problem that might damage your relationship with family and friends. You need to understand that your family and friends loved you, supported you and were there for you long before you were in a relationship, so it’s totally selfish to just disappear because you are in love. Additionally, if your partner is encouraging you to stay away from your friends and family, they might be alienating you for future abuse.
You sacrifice a lot without getting much back in return
It’s natural for partners to meet each other’s needs. However, it’s unhealthy when you make sacrifices without getting much in return. There will be an imbalance in the relationship, and that often creates problems. If you are dependent on your partner, you put all the blames upon yourself when your partner is upset, regardless if it actually has anything to do with you or not. Whether it’s work-related, family issues or a dispute with friends, you take it upon yourself to put all of your partner’s problems on your shoulders.
You have given up your interests
Have you given up your interests and hobbies? Do you remember when you used to actually have hobbies and interests outside those you share with your partner? If you are having trouble recalling that time, then you are definitely too dependent. It’s fine to do things together, but you shouldn’t abandon things that you enjoy doing because you are in a relationship. If your relationship were to end, those interests and hobbies you have abandoned could help you get through it.
You brush serious issues aside
Oftentimes, when you are too dependent on your partner, you brush serious issues under the rug. You might be involved with a cheater, a narcissist, an alcoholic, or an emotional abuser, yet you continue to stay with them and hurting yourself. You prefer to stay in an unhappy relationship than have to go through the pain of separation. If you bend to your partner’s will at every turn even when you don’t agree with what your partner is presenting, you have become dependent. This behavior sets a bad tone that allows your partner to think that they can do/say whatever and you will always let them get away with it.
You can’t spend time alone
People who are dependent on their partners find it hard to spend time alone. Finding yourself head over heels in love is one of the best feelings in the world. You want to spend every second with the person that’s making you so happy. Unfortunately, once that phase wears off, you have to face the fact that spending some time apart gives your relationship longevity. Create some time for yourself. Go get your hair done, relax at a spa, hang out with friends, whatever you used to do alone, start doing that again. You need to give your partner a chance to miss you and there no better way to do that than enjoying some time alone.
You are always afraid your relationship will end
Regardless of how happy you are in your relationship and how amazing your partner is, you spending moments terrified that your relationship might come to an end. You are worried that you may do something they do like, or not do enough or fear that they are searching for someone better. When you fear losing your partner, you put in double efforts to make them stay. It is either you conform to your partner’s wishes, or you change. You might even use guilt as a tool to stop them from leaving. It is so bad that when you think of separation, you feel as if it’s the end of the world and the end of your life.
You seek your partner’s opinion about everything
If you can’t and won’t make any decisions unless you run them by your partner first, you are depending too much on them. What you wear, what you eat, how you should handle a situation, all of these decisions and many more cannot be answered until you ask your partner for their input. If you have been made to feel that you have to check with your partner before you make any decisions then you should address the issue head on, but if you are the one who insists that you ask them first, you need to find out why.
You don’t know who you are anymore
If you don’t recognize yourself anymore, you have become too dependent on your partner. Take a look at yourself in the mirror and reflect on who you are currently and the choices you are making. If you don’t recognize the person you see staring back at you, it means that you have lost your self-identity. A few changes are expected when you get into a new relationship, but completely changing who you are is a serious issue. Whether you are encouraged by your partner or yourself to change everything about you, you need to understand that doing so won’t make the relationship last any longer than it’s supposed to.
You don’t have your own life
Being interested and invested in your partner’s life is great, but everyone has to have their own life outside of it. If you have become too dependent on that man or woman you are in a relationship with, try to free yourself from their grip today. You need to refocus your energy on your own life, what your goals, passions and aspirations are. You must also give your partner a chance to devote as much time and energy into you as you do with them, otherwise you will end up abused.