Even though rebound relationship or rebound sex is not advisable, it cannot be totally avoided after a relationship ends. Some people dread being alone and when they lose a partner through a break up, they turn to rebound sex for comfort and gratification.
Human beings are programmed for connection so even if you are not practically prepared for another relationship, you are emotionally wired to desire intimacy and closeness. This is why rebound relationships and rebound sex are common.
Here are 10 practical rules for having rebound sex when your relationship ends.
Rebound sex won’t make your ex jealous
No matter how much you are hurting after a break up, having sex to spite your ex will not work. Maybe you are still sad and angry with him but having sex with someone else will not make him consider coming back to you. Make sure you are using rebound sex to cope with your loss and move on so you don’t end up in a more terrible relationship.
Be clear and upfront with the other person
Don’t hide what you are doing. Let your prospective sex partner know what is going on with you. If you are just coming out of a relationship and want sex, then be honest with the other person about it. Make it clear from the start that you are not looking for anything serious.
Safe sex rules still apply
Even if you are not looking for a relationship, you should protect yourself during your sexual encounters. You have to remember that there are many sexually transmitted infections your partner may not realize they have. The consequences of STIs or an unwanted pregnancy can last a lifetime.
Think hard about being friends with benefits
It may be easy to have sex with someone you already know as you can bypass meeting strangers. However, if you are thinking about having sex with a friend, be very careful, because it may not be easy to preserve your friendship once you have sex.
Recognize it’s a temporary fix
Rebound sex may distract you for a night or make you feel sexually desirable, but you shouldn’t tie your self-worth to another person’s approval. It is a complete waste of time.
Don’t judge yourself
Don’t be too hard on yourself. Don’t feel guilty about wanting sex without a relationship with a new person. As long as you are upfront with the other person, there’s nothing wrong with two consenting adults having sex and enjoying the pleasure of orgasms.
It may help you cope with pain
In some cases, rebound sex may be your much-needed boost of confidence. If you play your cards well, it could potentially help kick-start your healing process and help you cope with the pain. But if you don’t handle it well, you will end up worse than before.
Don’t wait too long to have sex after a breakup
When the vaginal area is inactive, it becomes dry and less elastic because there is less blood flow to the tissue, which causes it to become more delicate. Lack of use of the vagina, just like other parts of the body, can cause pain once you to start to use it again. If you don’t use, you will lose it. So, don’t wait too long to have sex again after a break up.
You can hurt your sex partner
Rebound relationships are tricky. You might think that it is strictly about sex, but what if it’s not. Just because you aren’t ready for a new relationship doesn’t mean the person you are having sex with doesn’t want one. What happens when you are still crying over your ex and then you make them cry over you too? That’s not fair to this new person.
Don’t let the breakup break you
Grieving the loss of a relationship is a process much like mourning a death. You may feel wrecked, but know there will be better days ahead. If you must have rebound sex to fill your physical or emotional needs, it’s fine. There’s really no right or wrong way to deal with a breakup.
