Why do some Nigerian men think women don’t deserve to choose their spouses? It is funny that when a woman specifies the kind of man she wants to marry, people will tell her to stop being selective because age is not on her side.
When a woman says she can’t marry a short man, they will remind her that height doesn’t matter in marriage and she should endure his closeness to the ground with his good heart.
When a woman says she can’t marry an educated man, people start preaching to her about the grace of God and how it can turn someone’s life around in an instant even if they are not educated.
When a woman says she can’t marry a violent man, one who is given to quick temper people remind her that she can change him with her humility and meekness. She is also told to learn to endure like our mothers and grandmothers did in the past.
When a woman says she can’t marry a man who is not well endowed down there, she is reprimanded for being so morally loose. People remind her that sex is not food and drum it into her ears that she should focus on getting pregnant and having children and forget the orgasmic pleasure sex can give her.
When a woman says she can’t marry a man that earns N50, 000, people will start insulting her and call her a gold digger. They will remind her that age is no longer on her side and that she should stop waiting for a rich man to marry.
These scenarios reek of terrible double standards that have eaten deep into this society. When men boldly come out to declare the kind of women they want to marry, no one questions them. No one starts preaching to them to stop being selective.It’s like it’s their right to choose the best women in the world while women can’t do the same.
When a man says he wants a beautiful woman for a wife, nobody coughs unnecessarily about how carnal and worldly he is. He is not reminded that age is no longer on his side. He is not told to stop waiting for the perfect woman and manage any woman he sees.
A man who says he can’t marry a short woman is not hounded with unwanted advice to stop being choosy. If he says he can’t marry a woman who can’t cook, he is not told to suck it in and go and learn how to cook so that another man won’t snatch his wife from him because he doesn’t know how to cook.
So, I don’t understand why Nigerians think it’s cool to start giving unsolicited advice to single ladies for specifying the qualities they want in a spouse. Is it that ladies don’t have the right to choose what they want?
Why do men start threatening women with eternal single life when they turn down their marriage proposals because they don’t meet the requirements they want in a man? Why do men think women don’t deserve to choose their spouses like they do?
A lady said recently that she won’t marry a man who earns N50, 000 and her statement broke the internet. People started foaming on both sides of their mouths about how money is not everything, how ladies should settle for men with vision and prospects and not how big the size of his pocket is.
Some took a step further and started sharing some marriage grass to grace stories just to silence ladies who want to marry financially comfortable men. Others started insulting these ladies claiming they are gold diggers who came from poor families looking for a better life.
While I am not disputing some grass to grace stories in marriages, everybody must not start small. People have choices and their choices must be respected. If as a man, a woman says she can’t marry you because you earn N50, 000, move on with your life. You don’t have to insult her for her choice. There is a woman somewhere who won’t mind your N50, 000 salary and you need to find her. Life is not hard.
All these men threatening ladies with menopause and getting old in their father’s houses because they said they won’t marry men who earn N50, 000, do you know ladies can have children without getting married? Do you know that many ladies are earning more than N50, 000 today?
Do you know that many ladies are living on their own and not with their parents? Do you know that some ladies would rather become single mothers than put up with insecure, noise makers who want them to embrace poverty all in the name of marriage?
Leave women alone to choose the kind of men they want to marry. Why are you people tearing your boxers over the choice of grown women regarding the kind of men they don’t want to spend the rest of their lives with? Why is it an issue when women state what they want? What is the problem?
Men have been specifying the kind of women they will and will not marry for years, and people are cool with it. They are hailed for saying they can’t marry women who can’t cook even if they can’t boil egg.
Men who are as ugly as the cartoon character Shrek can boldly state that they want models for wives and people will nod in agreement and call them real men.
Now, women are saying what they want from men they want to settle down with and people have turned inspirational speakers telling them that money is not everything.
Even if these ladies come from poor homes, don’t they have the right to reject poverty and go for riches so that they can be comfortable in life? Don’t they have the right to dream for a better future? Don’t they want to enjoy money and luxury like others do? Don’t they have the right to choose the kind of man they want to spend the rest of their lives with or what?
You tell women to marry men with vision and prospects while men are busy looking for women with big boobs and buttocks plus chefs and cleaners to wife. Men look out for pretty faces, well shaped breasts and rounded buttocks and no one is whining.
Will vision put food on the table if it’s not converted to money? Do men marry women because of vision? How many men even marry their wives because of vision minus physical attraction as well as culinary and cleaning skills? How many men wake up and marry women without checking out their bodies first? Now, women are told to embrace vision and prospects. Women want money, intelligence, hot bodies and functional rods too.
Stop threatening women with being single for life because they refuse to settle for less that they want when it comes to choosing a life partner. The last time I checked, bring single is not a crime or a contagious disease. It is better to be single than end up in a miserable marriage with a man one is not proud of.
Women have the right to choose the kind of men they want to marry and their choices should be respected.