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Heart Matters

What Nigerian men want from their wives

What Nigerian men want from their wives

Nigerian men want many things from their wives. These men have different reasons for getting married. Some of them get married because of love and companionship. Others get married because they want to have children while majority get married because they are tired of washing their own clothes and they want women who would cook and clean for them.

This is why when you majority of men why they want to get married, you will hear, “I want to start eating home cooked meals.’ Others say, ‘I want to have children and carry on my family name.’ Some say they want to get married because they need women who can tolerate their excesses and care for them like their mothers.

While women may have different reasons from men for wanting to get married, it’s funny that men who can’t take care of themselves, keep their apartments clean and wash their own clothes and boxers feel entitled to some women’s domestic prowess. Domestic chores is not for women alone.

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When it comes to marriage, sex is important to men. However, these same men don’t feel sexually satisfied with one woman. They can get married and still be messing around with other women. Then I start to wonder why they took marital vows in the first place to cleave to their wives and forsake all others. Or is that part of the marriage vow just for show?

While some men find it hard to communicate their feelings because society has erroneously taught them that men shouldn’t be expressive, men want their wives to fulfill certain needs. Below are some things men want from their wives in marriage. Women, take note of these things and adjust accordingly.

What Nigerian men want from their wives

While sex is important for most men, many simply want to experience more affection from their wives. Whether it’s holding his hand in public, leaving him a love message or massaging his shoulders and showing that you care about him through actions of fondness will touch his heart.

Wives, demonstrate how much you care about your husbands by being warm. Tell him how much you love him, cheer him on when he’s feeling doubtful, and tell him you are sorry when things go wrong. You can also give him unexpected kisses and flirt with him.

Your husband wants your belief in his capabilities. Many men think it’s important for them to protect and provide for those they love. Let your husband know that you believe in his talents and skills and are supportive of him. Your encouragement is the most meaningful of anyone.

Make your man feel like a star. Believing in his ability even when things don’t go well will strengthen your relationship. It will develop trust between you two and give him a sense of responsibility in the relationship.

Woman, understand your man. Your man wants to know that you get him. Men are often more logical and like to solve problems. This trait creates a balance between the women who are generally more emotional and in touch with their feelings.

You both can show that you understand each other by making a commitment to talk daily. Plan a daily dialogue exercise where you take minutes to ask each other positive questions. This could include things about what attracts you to one another, your favorite date together, or what you both want your future to look like.

Appreciation and affirmation matters to men too. Most guys like to be patted on the back. One way to do this is by complimenting your husband often. Rather than over-doing it, make sure it’s genuine and sporadic throughout the week. Let him know you appreciate how hard he works. Tell your husband how good he looks in that shirt. Kiss him and tell him you really admire him.

Men love acceptance. They want to be accepted for who they are and don’t want others to try to change them. Men are often hurt when their wives try to change them. If it concerns their health and safety, it’s understandable, but superficial characteristics aren’t necessary.

What Nigerian men want from their wives

Sometimes less chatter brings peace. If your husband is tired, is deeply invested in a project, or isn’t ready for a chat, don’t push it. Women can be especially chatty sometimes, so it’s important to create time to talk with your husband. If he’s busy, you may need to schedule some time with him so you two can get back on track.

Creating a good marriage starts with respect. Men and women should respect each other. Respect is not only reserved for men. Women deserve to be respected by their husbands too. One of the ways a wife can respect her husband is by not making negative comments about his thoughts and opinions. Be considerate of his upcoming plans, don’t roll your eyes or reply with disgust when you disagree with him. Being positive and considerate of his needs is a way of making him happy.

Let your husband enjoy his free time even as you have your own alone time with friends and activities that you enjoy. Almost everyone has a desire for some quiet time alone and moments to re-energize, regroup, and reconnect with themselves. If weekdays are too busy to enjoy some free time with your husband, consider picking doing that during weekends.

Trust is vital in a marriage. Couples build trust by being honest with each other, communicating often, and fighting fairly. It takes time to build trust. If you are having doubts about your husband because of his past actions that hurt you and you find it difficult to trust him anymore, seek counseling. Don’t engage in activities like spying on him and trying so hard to pay him back in his own coin.

Husbands want companionship. Your husband is not only your husband, but also your lover and friend. Staying friends and companions throughout your marriage require that you both find ways to enjoy quality time together and have new experiences from your time together to share with your children.

Marrying your best friend also means being mindful of how you talk to each other, not taking one another for granted, and making small sacrifices to please each other. Using kind words with each other and looking out for each other’s interests is one of the ways to build a great marriage.

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Written By

I am a woman who is passionate about empowering other women to live their best lives and be free from unhealthy societal expectations. I'm a journalist and a columnist with a reputable media house. I educate, inspire and encourage women to embrace their uniqueness fully. I am a mother to an intelligent girl. I love perfumes.

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