The kind of men Nigerian women should marry are the ones who are responsible enough to know that the success or failure of their marriages depend on how they treat their wives and how they support their dreams.
I was on a facebook post this morning where the poster said she can’t live in a house where she doesn’t contribute to the rent so that tomorrow, she won’t be kicked out of the house into the streets like some stray dog.
She also said she tried marriage and it didn’t work and because of the stress and trauma she went through in her crashed marriage, she won’t venture into marriage again. I won’t blame her. Everybody’s threshold for pain is different.
Some women on that thread reminded her that even women who contribute financially to the running of the home get kicked out by the heartless men they married. They reminded her that the law in this country doesn’t protect women.
One lady, Esiri Ukueku-Uduaghan outlined the kind of qualities women need to look out for while dating or seeking a life partner to avoid stories that touch. I love her comment and decided to share it here for us to learn a few things from it.
Esiri Ukueku-Uduaghan said:
“When I’m looking for a partner, I’m also looking for a solid financial support system.
I’m not looking for a man that gives me 200, 000 as feeding money a month.
If he needs me to do that, I will do it gladly. My question is what does he contribute to the home? What value is he bringing to the table?
A man could be bringing so much more value to the table in terms of finances that feeding money is pure water.
I do not teach women to feel entitled to feeding money or rent money etc.
Date and marry a man who works as fucking hard as you do to ensure that your family lives a great standard of life.
Date a man who has a strong sense of responsibility to you and your children.
When you get this two right, you can proceed to provide or contribute whatever you choose to that relationship/marriage.
But best believe, he will never slack, he will match you all the way and support your family all the way.
He will see how much you are doing and go out of his way to support you financially to the best of his ability.
How much is food money?
There are men who will hit a deal and will periodically throw as much as 20 million into their wife’s accounts and look away.
There are men who change their wife’s cars every 2/3yrs.
There are men who build homes for their wives and buy lands in their names.
There are men who pay for lush vacations twice a year for their family.
There are men who sponsor not only their children’s education but their wife’s outside the country.
There are Men who you will tell your business idea or project and they will throw their financial weight behind it, their human resources and influence.
There are men who will look out for great business opportunities or job opportunities and fix their wife’s name in there to ensure that she is earning cool cash on her own.
When I talk of support, I mean SUPPORT.
I don’t want pieces of fish every month. I want my own fucking personal SEA. And I want a man who takes a look at me and knows what I want and will stand with me to ensure I get it, as I support his dreams too.
How much is rent money that you are contributing to? How much is feeding money?
Just marry a man who is committed to your happiness and will work his butt off to ensure an amazing standard of life for you and your kids and leave draging feeding money abeg.”
What do you think ladies? Do you agree with her?