How I almost became a second wife

A young lady has narrated how she almost became a second wife to a man who was a husband and father.

This lady went to different places with this man, attended social events and church services with him. He claimed he was single and ready to get married. How despicable can some married men be!

Read this story and tell me if this man is worthy to be a called a husband:

“The traffic gridlock on my route to work was unbearable at one time and I opted for commercial vehicle instead of driving.

One day, I was at the bus stop flagging down cars headed to town. He gave me and another person a lift to our destination. He insisted on dropping me off at my work place.

We exchanged phone numbers and that was how it all started. He was loving and caring to a fault. He adored me.

We went everywhere together from his work place, to his relatives and his house. He was talking marriage after six months of dating, even though he didn’t propose yet. We even attended the same church.

One day, during singles’ prayer service in church, all eligible singles was asked to step forward to the altar for prayers. A call I heeded to like all other eligible singles, but he didn’t come out for prayers.

He wore a long face as I made my way back to my seat. He also walked ahead of me to the car when service ended.

I already knew something was up with the way he was acting. Once we were both in the car, he exploded “what was that for? Why did you have to step out with other singles? Are you trying to announce to the world that you are still single?”

I was surprised by his outburst, so I asked him salient questions: Am I married? Have you paid my bride price? Why didn’t you even step out for prayers, are you not an eligible single as well?

It was a huge argument all the way home. He told me because he has signified interest in getting married to me; I shouldn’t have stepped out to the altar with others.

As he dropped me off at my house, he told me to inform my parents he wants to come perform all the marriage rites by the end of the month. I persuaded him to put everything on hold till October when the rains are over.

Few months after that incident, I found out he has a wife and two children. I drove to his house and confronted his gate man. I needed to hear from someone who lives with him.

I spoke with the gateman in Hausa and he opened up to me. He told me about his Oga’s wife and their two children. They live in one of his houses which is about five minutes drive from my own house. His wife is a house wife who hardly leaves the house.

And I dated this man for 11 months before I found out he was married. What if this woman found out and sent assassins after me? I was terrified.

I called it quits with him that same day, bundled every material gifts he ever gave me to his house. I called him to announce my findings and my conclusion on the matter.

I couldn’t believe that the heart of Man could be that desperate and wicked. I started to piece certain behaviors he puts up together. He made sure I had no time for friends. If I’m not at work, we were either together at my place, his place or we just hang out doing fun stuff.

He was always brash and unapproachable to his domestic staff and workers at his office. He would insist that I shouldn’t get too friendly with them as well so I don’t lose control.

It was all a ploy to keep his secret safe. Not being friendly with his staff meant they won’t have access to me to gossip.

Did you know this married man gave me a gigantic portrait of himself which was wonderfully mounted in my sitting room clearly marking his territory? How else would you describe wizardry?

He led me on by even introducing me to some people he claimed were his relatives, which I later discovered to be people on his charity payroll. They were not in any way related to him.

When we do household shopping, he buys a lot of toiletries and provision and claims he donates them to charities, but it’s actually for his family.

His excuses when his cover got blown were that he was not legally married to the woman. She was just his children’s mother. And I don’t deserve to know that aspect of your life?

He also claimed if he had told me he has a woman with kids that I wouldn’t have dated him, let alone settle down with him. He wanted to tell me truth after we were married.
What kind of man builds a home on lies? I couldn’t believe my ears. How can you claim to love someone yet withhold the most important information of your life from them?

These are the likes of the Men who marry second wives while their first wives are unaware. They will get hit with such news at the man’s demise, burial or they stumble on the truth mistakenly. Some men go as far as to lie that their wives are late, terminally ill or they are divorced, but there’s no single truth in that.

Every eligible single out there deserves the truth about your marital status to enable them make informed decisions.

Getting romantically involved with a married man or woman should be a choice and risk one is willing to undertake. One should be fully aware and mentally prepared for such a journey.

Lying or hiding your marital status is not only fraudulent, it makes your partner vulnerable should your spouse find out they are messing around with you, and it doesn’t matter that they are innocent.”

Written by Amaka Nicholas