Dear woman, bear in mind that you disrespect yourself every time you say yes when you want to say no just to keep the peace in your relationship or marriage.
You disrespect yourself when you allow that man who you love so much walk all over because you want him to remain in your life and not replace you with another woman.
You disrespect yourself when you dumb down yourself so that you can keep a man who believes women shouldn’t be heard but seen.
You disrespect yourself when you believe you are nothing without a man and you do stupid things that a man won’t leave you.
You disrespect yourself when you believe you are unworthy of love, respect and fidelity and you allow a man treat you like crap while you console yourself with having a man in your life.
You disrespect yourself when you give up your job, business or money making venture to marry a man who sees you as inferior.
You disrespect yourself when you turn your back on your family, friends and mentors because a man told you to choose between him and them.
Yesterday on a post about women buying cars and lying that their husbands bought them so that outsiders can respect them more, one woman said women should be grateful that men saw them worthy enough to marry them.
In her words: Out of all the girls in the world, he chose you. You should be thanking him everyday for making you worthy to be his wife. You should respect him by telling people he did everything for you.
Men are scarce and good husbands who allow their wives make their money are almost extinct. Whatever you have as a woman belongs to your husband because if he didn’t allow you get those things, you won’t get them. Women should respect their husbands more.”
I was speechless after reading her comment. She was busy arguing with the women who disagreed with her and threatening some with dying single if they refuse to be humble and submissive to their husbands even if they have money.
As a Nigerian woman, if you lack self worth and a healthy self esteem, you are finished. You will be running from pillar to post to do everything this hypocritical society expects of you and you won’t even win.
This society will keep demanding more from you until you are drained, lost and tired that you may no longer know who you are and what you want out of life.
As a Nigerian woman living in Nigeria, you have to be tough. You have to be true to yourself. You have to know who you are, where you are headed and what you want in your relationships.
You don’t have do everything this society tells you to do just to keep a man. You will wear yourself out. You cannot keep a man who doesn’t want to be kept.
You don’t have to live a lie so that people can call you nice, good woman, strong woman and the one that takes the crown…virtuous woman.
You disrespect yourself every time you say yes to things you don’t like because you don’t want to be alone. You call it love, loyalty and friendship but you are lying to yourself.
Saying yes when you want to say no is you hoping that someone, a man in this case will see how amazing you are and choose you. Is that all you are worth? Is being chosen by a man all you live for?
It shouldn’t be so. Choose yourself. Choose your self worth. You teach people how to treat you by choosing yourself. I can’t stress this enough, Nigerian women, choose yourselves.
Choose to be with someone who reciprocates your love, fidelity and loyalty. Choose your dreams. Make money. Network with successful people in your work or business. Stop disrespecting yourself. You deserve the same love and respect you give to others.