Dear Nigerian women, it is not your responsibility to raise a man. It is not your responsibility to raise f^ck boy into a good man. You will wear yourselves out.
When I hear some women advise young ladies to treat their men like children, I laugh. What kind of confusion is this?
These women claim that men are heads yet they are babies that should be raised by their women. This is pure nonsense.
It is not your duty to raise a man. It is not your duty to mould a man into your taste whatever that means. That man is an adult who should take responsibility for his action.
You shouldn’t waste time trying to raise an adult. If his parents couldn’t do that for two or three decades of his life, why do you think you can achieve it? Do you have super powers?
This is why I get angry when people arm twist other people’s daughters to marry their badly raised sons. They manipulate these ladies by telling them that their love, patience and devotion will change these men.
You see an irresponsible, lazy, disrespectful and laid back man and you think the best thing you can do for him is get him a wife so that he can start having children.
How will getting married and having children transform an irresponsible man overnight? This is not a woman’s responsibility. A woman shouldn’t be nurturing an adult who should have sense.
This is not fair. This is an enormous responsibility this society has placed on women and it has destroyed the lives of many women. It has turned these women into bitter and unfulfilled women.
If a man leaves a woman dealing with issues, he is said to have ‘dodged a bullet’ but a woman who endures his financial problems, violence, mental health issues, is praised, or encouraged to stay and help him turn his life around.
Our hypocritical society preaches female endurance. This society praises a woman who stays with her man through his troubled years. She is romanticised and called loyal.
Other women are hounded to emulate her and stick to their men even when these men behave like animals that lack self control. Loyalty is expected of women but the same is not for men. Men are excused when they leave troubled women.
Let me say this, women are not rehabilitation centres for badly raised boys. It is not their duty to babysit these men, pamper them, raise them or make them better men.
These men should work on themselves and do better, they are adults. Men should take responsibility for their lives and life decisions. They should man up and live well. It is their responsibility to be good men.