Dear Nigerian women, stop making excuses for enduring bad relationships. You people are beginning to sound like a broken Congo record.
What is all this? Why do you people love to suffer? Why do you keep making excuses to remaining in relationships where you are treated like trash all the time? What is wrong with you?
When I say set relationship standards and stop settling for men who don’t meet your standards, you tell me men are scarce and you are getting older.
You see a man who had no means of livelihood, one who clearly doesn’t respect you or want you to amount to anything in life and you will marry him.
Tomorrow you will start whining as if someone put a gun to your head and forced you to walk into fire with your eyes open. The annoying thing is you will bring innocent children into that dysfunctional union.
But you won’t let me rest with your unending ‘what do I do’ messages when these men finally unveil the stuff they are made of. I’m very angry with the women who keep saying it’s not easy to do away with loveless relationships.
When I say women should stop dwelling on men who left them or didn’t marry them or treated them badly by moving on with their lives, some of you come and yarn dust about how it’s not easy to leave.
You come up with ridiculous excuses why you must continue suffering over men who don’t give a hoot about you. Enjoy your misery alone, no. You will start sending me messages about how you were beaten, slapped and pushed out like a dog.
What do you want me to do? Do you want me to take decisions about your lives for you? That’s not possible. If you are tired of being treated badly, you will advise yourself by yourself.
If it’s not easy to love yourself more than another human being and refuse to be treated like a doormat because you want to show everybody you have a relationship, stay there and enjoy your misery please.
Stop disturbing strangers with your sob stories, it’s annoying. If you refuse to treat yourself with love and respect, how will another person treat you with respect?
Please women, do something productive with your lives and stop wasting valuable years putting up with foolish men and trying to make decent men out of them. You will wear yourselves out. It is not by force.
A woman told me that she spent five years with a guy and suddenly he broke up with her and is getting married to another person later this year. She was inconsolable.
When I asked her what she had done in those five to improve her life, she looked at me as if I was mad. She didn’t invest in herself. She didn’t do anything to make herself better.
She didn’t go back to school, she didn’t take online courses to boost her curriculum vitae, she didn’t start any business, she didn’t do anything meaningful with her time. She was investing in a man because marriage is the ultimate. Now that he disappointed her, she wants to die. I don tire for una.
Dear Nigerian women, you can do better. Stop investing in men. Invest in yourselves and make money. As a woman, your money is your defense against abuse and nonsense behavior from men.
Go for the bag. Secure the bag. Stop waiting endlessly to be rescued by Prince charming. Most of the men around these days are not ready to rescue you. You have to rescue yourself.
Be deliberate about your life. Stop living your lives for men. It doesn’t make sense. Live for you. Live a good life. Focus on improving yourself. Invest years in productive ventures not in men who are treating you badly and hoping they will change.
Marriage doesn’t change a bad man. Having children for him won’t change him either. You will just complicate your life further. Stop making excuses for enduring bad relationships. You are not a donkey created for suffering.
It is enough. I’m tired of receiving messages from women who won’t do anything to change their situation. I’m very tired. Help yourselves.