Do you know that there are some relationship habits that might make you lose your female friends? Do you know how to balance your love life with your friendships with the girls?
Do you start ignoring your friends when you start dating a new guy? Do you refuse to pick their calls or message them back when you are basking in the euphoria of a new found love?
Do you start treating your friends differently because you have now found the love of your life? Do you cancel outings with your friends because your boyfriend doesn’t want you hanging out with them anymore?
Girl, that’s our friends because of a man. It will end in premium tears if you are not careful. This is why some friends abandon their babes when shit hits the roof.
One important skill every Nigerian woman should learn is how to balance her romantic relationship and friendships so that one doesn’t suffer because of the other.
So many women spend so much time looking for that special man and when they finally find him, they become obsessed with that relationship that they abandon all others and discard their friends who have been through thick and thin with them.
It is sad that most women don’t know that they do this. The ones that do think that their friends will have to understand. They tell themselves that is what happens when you get into a romantic relationship.
But that’s not how things work. Your whole life shouldn’t revolve around your romantic partner. If you don’t nurture your friendships, you will lose them. Then you may begin to resent your partner and both of you will end up unhappy.
If you mistreat your friends because of a man, they can go away and never come back. Once you break that trust and show them that you might disappear whenever a new boyfriend comes along, they may not give you a second chance.
Here are 10 relationship habits that might cause you to lose your female friendships:
1. You give your friends second place in your calender
When your friends don’t invite you for outings anymore, it may be because you always choose your boyfriend over them and give them second place in your plans. When friends ask if you want to hang out when you are free, and you go “Let me first make sure my boyfriend doesn’t want to do anything on that day.” If you do this constantly, they will stop asking to see you.
2. You talk about your relationship all the time
When you are hanging out with your friends, there is so much more to talk about than your boyfriend or your relationship. So many things may have happened to your friends since you last saw them which they want to share with you. If you don’t give them the space to talk because you just go on and on about your relationship, then they will definitely stop trying to share things with you.
3. Bringing your boyfriend to outings with your friends
You want your friends to get to know your partner and you want him to get to know them. That’s fine. But understand that he doesn’t need to have a close friendship with them. And they don’t need to feel like third wheels when they are with you because of his presence. He doesn’t need to tag along every time you hang out with your friends.
4. Speaking to your friends like a relationship guru
Being in a relationship doesn’t make you a relationship guru. When your friends talk to you about their dating problems, they don’t want you to talk down on them. Leave the part about you being in a relationship out of it, and just talk to them as a friend who truly loves them. This is one of the relationship habits that ruin female friendships.
5. You change who you are to please your man
If you suddenly change your interests and personality for every guy you date, your friends will get tired of trying to keep up. If you suddenly start judging your friends lifestyles because you got a religious boyfriend, you are teaching them how to live without you. You don’t have to change who you are to please a man.
6. Not returning calls and messages for days
Being in love can be so distracting. Sometimes, you and your partner may decide to stay in bed all weekend or dashing off for a weekend getaway, drinking, playing and having sex. That doesn’t mean you won’t reply your friends’ texts or calls for days. When you do that, you will drive them crazy.
7. Always clinging to your boyfriend in social settings
When you and your partner go to a social gathering with your friends, you spend the whole time with each other. You sit in one corner, talking and not making an effort to talk to other people, that’s rude. This makes your friends wondering why you even bothered to come. You don’t really get points for showing up if you do that.
8. Putting your friends through unending boyfriend drama
Your friends will most likely be there for the tears, the meltdown, and the long talks about a break up one time per guy. If they cancel their plans to comfort you and be there for you when you are hurting and then you get back with the guy, they won’t like it. And things keep repeating that way, they may just stop wasting their time on you.
9. Always texting your boyfriend when you are with friends
If you spend your entire time with friends texting your boyfriend, your friends will probably stop inviting you to hang out with them. They want you to be present. They want to feel like they are experiencing something with you, whether it’s a movie or a day in the bar. If you text your partner the whole time, it makes your friends feel like you don’t really want to be there.
10. You share too much with your boyfriend
When your friends share things with you in privacy like financial, emotional and family issues, including challenges with their sex life and you run off to share these personal things with your boyfriend, you are not being a good friend. If your friends think they can’t trust you because of your leaky mouth, they will start avoiding you.
When friends distance themselves from you, it may your fault. When you stop reaching out to your friends because you are in a new relationship, you may lose your friendships. You should know how to balance your love life and your friendships.
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