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Thoughts and opinions

5 signs your partner is standing in the way of your goals

Is your partner standing in the way of your goals and success? Are you always afraid to share your long term goals with your spouse?

Does your partner get angry when you tell him of your plans to further your education, expand your business or apply for promotion at work?

If you have answered yes to the questions above, then you are in a relationship with an enemy of progress. Your partner is standing in the way of your success and progress in life. You don’t need such a person in your life.

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Nigerian women should stop dating and marrying their enemies. I’m tired of getting messages from women who are stuck with men who don’t want them to pursue their dreams and make their own money. It is not a good thing for a woman to be financially dependent on a man.

 

If your man is standing in the way of your life goals, some factors may be responsible for it. It may be due to jealousy, his own insecurity, or fear that you might leave him if you become rich, powerful and influential.

 

Most men have low self esteem and they see successful women as threats to their huge ego. They believe that a woman must not be richer and more successful than her man. They take pride in reducing their women to nothing.

As a woman living in Nigeria, sometimes you can find yourself in a relationship where your partner is standing in the way of your goals and dreams. This can make you sad, angry and helpless. You may start doubting and second guessing yourself too.

It is a bad place to be in and it cam be hard to recover from such an experience, especially when your partner is the one who’s against you making progress. You feel angry because the same man expects you to support his dreams, goals and aspirations without asking questions. No woman deserves such shady behavior from the man they love.

One of the most important aspect of being in a relationship is supporting each other  emotionally, mentally, physically, and also with regards to each other’s goals. You can’t claim you love a woman and you don’t support her goals. You are not being sincere with her.

It is unfortunate that not all partners and spouses are supportive or not as supportive as they should when it comes to their partners life goals. This can be detrimental to one’s dreams, aspirations, and outlook on life with regards to the future.

 

Dear Nigerian woman, below are five signs that your man is standing in the way of your goals and success in life:

1. He is competitive with you

Although it’s important that men and women have their own goals and dreams, a partner who’s competitive with their own goals and dreams is just standing in the way of yours. Partners are supposed to be supportive and not competitive. It is okay to have a little healthy competition to challenge each other to do better but it shouldn’t become a game.

2. He does everything with his power to distract you

Even if your partner currently doesn’t have any long-term goals of their own, it doesn’t mean they should distract you with whatever they want to do. Pressuring you to get pregnant and have a baby instead of pursuing your goals is your partner trying desperately to distract you from going after your dreams. That’s not fair to you.

3. He insists his goals are more important

Even if your ideal goal doesn’t make sense tour partner, it makes sense to you. That doesn’t mean their goals are more important than yours. Even if your goal might be harder to pull off, if you give it your all and learn at the same time, you will make it. You shouldn’t allow a man belittle your goals and make it look as if you don’t have what it takes to be successful.

4. He manipulates you to drop your ‘silly’ goals

Manipulating a partner is one of cruelest things that anyone can do, but it still exists. And the problem with manipulation is that it’s hard to recognize. If your partner is trying to convince you that your goals are silly, he is definitely making himself a huge roadblock in your progression to succeed. You will never make progress staying with such a person.

5. He makes you doubt your abilities and talents

So you have this great plan for your future and it’s awesome. You know what you want and you are headed in that direction. But then, you keep hearing your partner’s voice telling you that you are wasting your time. He tells you that you don’t need to work on your goals or better your life. Not only do you start doubting yourself, but you eventually believe him that your goals are not realistic.

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Written By

I am a woman who is passionate about empowering other women to live their best lives and be free from unhealthy societal expectations. I'm a journalist and a columnist with a reputable media house. I educate, inspire and encourage women to embrace their uniqueness fully. I am a mother to an intelligent girl. I love perfumes.

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