A Twitter user named Nicole said the day Nigerian men get the opportunity to also become prostitutes, they will stop beefing and accusing every successful Nigerian woman for acquiring wealth through prostitution.
It’s not a morality issue, they just feel left out, she added.
Adanna Akudo Ezirim wrote:
I’ve been reading bits and pieces of the Destiny Etiko’s story and seriously wondering why everyone seems to be so obsessed about “how” she got herself a new car.
…because it doesn’t seem like the problem is Destiny as much as it is about women generally whenever they announce a major success.
I’ve never seen or heard anyone ask plenty questions when a man buys a new car, new house, makes partner in less time than normal, becomes Director etc. The news is always received with joy and we celebrate with him.
So, I ask…
Why do you tend to doubt a woman’s achievement on the basis of hard work?
Why does a part of you (howbeit tiny) immediately assume that a woman’s sudden success must somewhat be tied to sex?
Why don’t you believe in a woman’s ability to succeed on her own?
Yes, I’m asking you. Search yourself.
Whenever a woman comes up to announce something big, do you first say “oh wow! She must have really worked hard” or “na so, small girl big God.”
If you fall within the latter, you have a problem.
And no, this isn’t about Destiny or the other women who sleep with men for favors. This is about you gradually nurturing a mindset that limits women.
I have worked with women, female bosses that is and it is a really tough battle for my gender to stay afloat in the business world.
People complain about female bosses being the meanest but some of us do not know the half of what those women go through.
I remember a boss who had male subordinates talk to her in a manner they wouldn’t do with her male counterpart. She was a woman and it was not right for her to boss around.
Things she would yell at us ladies for doing wrong, she would drop the ball so low with the guys. Watching her was a mess, it never made sense to me how someone in charge could feel so little.
It’s because our career/financial space is dominated by judgemental people who are always waiting to poke holes on a woman’s success.
Somehow, we have convinced ourselves that women are only entitled to small wins. Anything huge must have a man behind the scenes because how can a woman hit it big – just like that.
She gets promoted and you are doubting the genuineness.
She buys a car and it just has to be her rich boyfriend somewhere.
Sometimes, I like to think this isn’t just about patriarchy and the other women who do these things. It is just a lot of inferiority complex and narcissistic issues.
Something ticks you off when you hear or see women succeeding and conquering grounds your poor feeble mind never envisaged.
It gives you so much unrest that you start poking holes around waiting for water to leak so that you can have your “aha! I knew it” moment. The feeling of satisfaction like “we are all poor, you just happen to know a few rich men”
Plus, what if certain favors came from men or women? Does it make it less a win because women didn’t have to break their back for it?
Why would your mind immediately assume that it is from a man and they may have had multiple sex for that to happen? Is that how low you think of men?
I relate with young women and I see how hard they have to fight to prove to irrelevant weak people that they can succeed in this world.
Whenever they do things for themselves, they put it out there not because they want to but because it hurts when people treat them like they can’t succeed by themselves.
A lot of women turn down genuine offers from men because they don’t want anyone to come out tomorrow to say they only succeeded because a man helped them.
It is where we are now. Some of you need to heal from the extreme toxicity and negativity that have clouded your senses.
