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Heart Matters

10 signs of disrespect women shouldn’t allow in their relationships

Nigerian women should know that there are some signs of disrespect they shouldn’t allow in their relationships. No matter how much you love a man, don’t allow him get away with disrespecting you.

Women need love and respect in relationships. When women put up with disrespect, they are indirectly telling men that they can treat them anyhow. Every relationship also needs trust to grow, and in order for trust to grow in a relationship, both parties need to be respected.

You can’t disrespect your woman and expect her to worship the ground you walk on, that’s not possible. What you give is what you get in most cases and this is true for relationships.

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The sad thing is that many Nigerian women grew up seeing disrespect in their families. They witnessed their fathers disrespect their mothers and get away with it. They saw their fathers talk down on their mothers while these mothers made excuses for them.

When it comes to relationships, disrespectful behavior might not be in the form of violence or abuse; it might have taken the form of lying or dismissive behavior. That doesn’t mean that disrespect is okay, just because it seems less bad than what other women experience.

But how do Nigerian women spot disrespect if it is something that seems to be happening all around them, and how do they stop it infecting their intimate relationships?

Listed below are 10 signs of disrespect Nigerian women shouldn’t tolerate in their relationships:

1. He ignores your boundaries

If a man is ignoring your emotional, physical, sexual, or spiritual boundaries, that’s a sign of disrespect you shouldn’t allow in your relationship. If he pushes your limits, ignores your physical boundaries, has no respect for your well being, he has disrespected you If a man continues to do things you say hurt you emotionally, this is disrespecting an emotional boundary. This is one of the signs of disrespect from a man.

2. He doesn’t offer support when you need it

If you reach out to your man when you are having a tough time for support and he either ignores you or his response is to not offer that support, then that is a huge red flag staring right at you. You should be a priority. He needs to show up when you need him like you do for him. If you wouldn’t accept it from your friends, don’t accept the apathy when you need support from your partner either. This is one of the common signs of disrespect Nigerian women shouldn’t allow I their relationships.

3. He doesn’t listen to you

Communication is important in any relationship. If your man is not active listening to you, and you feel he is only half-interested in what you have to say, this can be a red flag. If he is not interested in what is important to you, if he ignores what you say and react to you like you don’t matter, this is a sign he is not listening. If he is judging what you say as being unimportant; or if he ignores you in the hope that you will just stop talking, that is disrespect right there. This is one of the common signs of disrespect.

4. He doesn’t prioritize you

If you are not a man’s priority, you will know what that feels like. He won’t want to be with you. He will be distracted when he is with you. He is fond of changing or canceling plans last moment without a good reason. He will be chronically late to dates and prioritize his friends or his work over you. If someone doesn’t respect your time, they don’t respect you.

5. He flirts with other women

If you are in a committed relationship and your partner is always fond of flirting with others while you are right there, you are being disrespected. It can be hard staying quiet when such things keep happening. It is disrespectful to you and to your relationship for someone to cross this boundary and expect you to be cool with it because you are a woman.

6. He hurts your feelings on purpose

If a man hurts your feeling on purpose, he doesn’t respect you. In relationships, you will be hurt by your partner but when it happens on purpose, it is not okay. Even if things are said in the heat of an argument, it is never okay for him to hurt you especially if he claims to love and care for you. This can be accusations thrown at you or bringing up things from the past just to hurt you or even name calling. None of these actions are okay.

7. You caught him lying many times

Some women think it is the big lies like cheating that matter in relationships when oftentimes it is the small lies that hurt the most. These lies chip away at trust and show a lack of respect in a committed relationship. If a man cannot be honest with you even when it is difficult, then why should you trust him? If you don’t trust him, there is no need of being in a relationship with him. This is one of the signs of disrespect in a relationship.

8. He refuses to relate with your family or friends

If a man disrespects your family, he is not a good man. If he doesn’t consider it important to relate with your family and friends the same way you relate with his, that’s a huge disrespect. If your man shows disrespect for the people who are important to you, he is disrespecting you by extension. Nigerian men do this a lot and it is a huge sign of disrespect to the women they pretend to care about.

9. He has inconsiderate personal habits

It is normal in a relationship to find someone else’s habits annoying once the initial honeymoon period has worn off. If the man you are dating has habits like not wiping down the toilet seat, cleaning up after himself; observing good personal hygiene or leaving dirty dishes all over the house waiting for you to wash them because you are a woman, he is disrespecting you.

10. He gives you the silent treatment

The silent treatment seems to be a very simple way to disrespect someone. You just have to switch off from that person long enough for their own minds to torture them, on your behalf. The silent treatment can leave a woman feeling hurt, powerless, invisible, guilty, or frustrated. Women don’t have to tolerate men who lack communication skills. This is one the signs of lack of respect in relationship.

What you can do about disrespect in your relationship

A man shouldn’t be doing things that are disrespectful in a relationship and you shouldn’t be making excuses for him either. If you have gone through the list above and found yourself nodding more than thrice, it is time to take a deep breath and decide what you need to do about that relationship.

If you read this and you believe leaving that relationship is the best thing for you to do, then take that step. You don’t have to put up with disrespect of any kind just so that you can have a man in your life. You matter.

If you read this and are hoping that your relationship can be saved though, the first step is to speak to your partner about how you are not feeling respected. You need to speak honestly and openly about what he is doing that is making you feel disrespected.

It will be helpful if you use examples of his behavior and keep an open mind too because he could come back to you and tell you that he has been feeling exactly the same way about things you have said and done.

Once your man understands what has happened in the past, it is time to think about what will happen in the future. Make your boundaries clear. You need to tell him what isn’t okay going forward, and how you expect to be treated.

But if things do not improve, you need to move on. You deserve a wonderful, loving, and respectful relationship. You have only this one life after all and you need to live to the full.

Dealing with disrespect in a relationship is not easy but you must choose yourself and your well being over being with a man who disrespects you.

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Written By

I am a woman who is passionate about empowering other women to live their best lives and be free from unhealthy societal expectations. I'm a journalist and a columnist with a reputable media house. I educate, inspire and encourage women to embrace their uniqueness fully. I am a mother to an intelligent girl. I love perfumes.

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