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Heart Matters

Nigerian men who verbally abuse their wives are playing with fire

Verbal abuse against women happens in many marriages but because women have socially conditioned to endure abuse from men, they keep quiet about it.

What these women don’t know is that verbal abuse is a lot more calculating and insidious, causing people on the receiving end to question themselves, wonder if they are overreacting, or even blame themselves.

Verbal abuse usually happens in private where no one else can intervene and eventually becomes a regular form of communication within marriages.


For women experiencing it, verbal abuse is often isolating since it chips away at their self-esteem making it more difficult to reach out to family or friends for help.

Verbal abuse is a means of maintaining power and control over another in the relationship. And there are many subtle forms verbal abuse can take, making it even harder to recognize.

Nigerian women should know that staying in verbally abusive relationships or marriages can have long-lasting effects on their physical and mental health, including leading to chronic pain, stress, depression, or anxiety.

Dear Nigerian man, you didn’t do your wife a favour by marrying her. She did you a huge favour by agreeing to stick with you through life’s many challenges.

If you are fond of verbally abusing your wife because you think she’s finished and no man would look at her again after having your children, you are in for a big shock.

Telling your wife that she’s no longer beautiful, that she has stretch marks and her body is no longer hot like it was in the past is a big mistake.

You will be surprised to know how many men are telling her sweet things. You will be surprised that she’s still making heads turn and you are there trying to reduce her.

Let me beg you to go back home today and apologize to your wife. If not, you will suffer in your old age. By that time, you will know the difference between khaki and leather.

One day, you will wake up to discover that you are married to yourself because your wife has left the marriage even if she’s still with you. Be wise.

Written By

I am a woman who is passionate about empowering other women to live their best lives and be free from unhealthy societal expectations. I'm a journalist and a columnist with a reputable media house. I educate, inspire and encourage women to embrace their uniqueness fully. I am a mother to an intelligent girl. I love perfumes.

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