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Heart Matters

Why Nigerian women shouldn’t stay in verbally abusive relationships

Staying in a verbally abusive relationship can have long-lasting effects on your physical and mental health, including leading to chronic pain, depression, or anxiety.

You may not think you are being abused if you are not being hurt physically. But emotional and verbal abuse can have short-term and long-lasting effects that are just as serious as the effects of physical abuse.

Emotional and verbal abuse includes insults and attempts to scare, isolate, or control you. It is also often a sign that physical abuse may follow.

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Emotional and verbal abuse may also continue if physical abuse starts. If you have been abused, it is never your fault. Nigerian women should stop blaming themselves fir being abused.

Emotional and verbal abuse may begin suddenly. Some abusers may start out behaving normally and then begin abuse after a relationship is established.

Some abusers may purposefully give a lot of love and attention, including compliments and requests to see you often, in the beginning of a relationship. Often, the abuser tries to make the other person feel strongly bonded to them, as though it is the two of them “against the world.”

 

 

Over time, abusers begin to insult or threaten their victims and begin controlling different parts of their lives. When this change in behavior happens, it can leave victims feeling shocked and confused.

You may feel embarrassed or foolish for getting into the relationship. If someone else abuses you, it’s never your fault.

Some effects of verbal abuse:

  • Question your memory of events: “Did that really happen?”.
  • Change your behavior for fear of upsetting your partner or act more aggressive or more passive than you would be otherwise
  • Feel ashamed or guilty
  • Feel constantly afraid of upsetting your partner
  • Feel powerless and hopeless
  • Feel manipulated, used, and controlled
  • Feel unwanted

Your partner’s behavior may leave you feeling as though you need to do anything possible to restore peace and end the abuse. This can feel stressful and overwhelming.

If your partner refuses to change after you tell them you are not comfortable with the way they communicate with you, leave.

You don’t have to endure a verbally abusive relationship because it will affect your health in the long run. You shouldn’t jeopardize your health because you want to be in a relationship.

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Written By

I am a woman who is passionate about empowering other women to live their best lives and be free from unhealthy societal expectations. I'm a journalist and a columnist with a reputable media house. I educate, inspire and encourage women to embrace their uniqueness fully. I am a mother to an intelligent girl. I love perfumes.

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