A Twitter user with the name aunty Funmi has called out women for projecting their marital realities on other women.
She said:
“Being married has shown me that men don’t even project. It is our fellow WOMEN who do the projecting.
Aaww your baby is so cute, hope you’re still breastfeeding her
“no”
“Why? You stopped at 6 months? That’s rubbish.
I breastfed my baby strictly for a year! Do better”
“Fine girl, you’re so young and beautiful but please dear, you’re married now. Any dress above your knee is a no no. Even sleeveless dresses. Leave all these things for these small small girls. You’re now a madam!”.
“You shouldn’t be drinking o, you know you are a married woman.
“Please dear, even if your husband is staying out till 12am, you shouldn’t. Once it’s 9, latest 10pm a responsible married woman should be at home.”
“You don’t need a maid though, maid for what?. The beauty and strength of a woman is in taking care of the home.”
I was sick and in the hospital and I swear to God this “nurse” told me, “my dear, I know it’s not easy but you’re a married woman o and a mother at that, if by tomorrow you don’t feel well, just tell the doctor to discharge you. Try and be strong. Who will take care of of the home.”
I’m not even kidding, my husband was more concerned about my health than what this woman was worried about.
It’s just the projection for me. Your husband won’t tell you to kneel down and serve him food o. It’s a woman that’ll be telling you that is how it should be. Like, don’t you people get tired?
I had so much phobia for marriage until I got married o and it turns out your husband is human not some blood sucking monster that you have to pour red oil on it’s head daily just to appease it.
The one that annoys me the most is the “submit to your husband” they always shout. Ooh please shut up! Is marriage more than respecting, loving, staying loyal and obeying your husband?
Why are you shouting submit submit submit up and down as if I have to kneel down every morning?
They have so capitalized on the word “submission” that even young girls are afraid of marriage because they have made it seem like a master and slave situation.
Please keep your advice ma. Your home is not my home. I would attend to my home according to the needs of my home.”