A Facebook user said that women who marry down are not comfortable in their marriages and they make extra effort not to further intimidate their husbands.
Afolashade Shallom Asha wrote:
“Even when women are willing to marry someone who they are doing better than financially in a significant way, these men end up resenting her because they feel they should have the money.
They start feeling less and they go out to seek women who they are doing better than financially so they can feel good about themselves around this women.
Women who marry down are usually not comfortable in their marriages because they make extra effort to not worsen the intimidation that their men already feel.
These women walk on egg shells and I can understand if a woman doesn’t want to deal with all that and just marry up.
Men complaining about them marrying down all the time but women not marrying down will never not be funny to me.
Men DELIBERATELY seek out women who are less than them in all aspects of life, intellectually, by age, financially and even educationally and let’s not forget with less sexual experience, women are literally encouraged to lessen themselves in order to snag a man lol.
Wasn’t it on this app that a woman encouraged women to act dumb so men can be attracted to men?
These are men who live abroad but would rather marry ladies from their villages that do not have half the exposure that they have.
There are men out here dumping their beautiful, financially stable and in the same age group girlfriends for way younger ladies who do not have any money.
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My Take:
In the past, mothers told their daughters not to overshadow boys with their intelligence and admonished them to act a little less smart so that they don’t scare their potential husbands away.
Things have changed today and girls no longer care about making men feel bad with their intelligence and financial power. A lot of men now befriend and marry these ladies just to make them feel bad for being ahead in life.
Though we don’t hear much about it, hypergamy, which is the preference of most women to marry “up” is still alive and well.
Many Nigerian women prefer to marry men of a higher rank, or men who make more money or have the capacity to make more money due to their career choices.
On the flip side, there are women who are more educated and financially capable than their men. These women date and marry these men hoping to bring these men up to their level but unfortunately, in most cases, these men don’t feel the same way.
These men feel emasculated. They feel less than men because their wives are earning more than they do.
They feel disrespected whenever these women express their dissatisfaction over something they did or didn’t do.
They tell family members and friends that their wives now boss them around because they don’t have money.
These women are told to do the impossible to keep their marriages. They are advised to massage their men’s fragile ego so that their marriages can be heaven on earth.
In most cases, the marriages don’t last because the women get tired of walking on egg shells around their under achieving men. They get tired of being reminded that they should be under their men and not above them.
They get tired of being resented and verbally and emotionally abused for being the bread winners. They get tired of being accused of using their husbands star to shine (whatever this nonsense means).
I advise Nigerian women not to marry down for whatever reason. Don’t box yourself into a corner because you think you can save a man. He will turn around and resent you for it. Be wise!
Not one lie in this article!
It is only in patriarchal societies like Nigeria that majority of the men who marry up have ego issues.