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“My mother has a fish brain for dating a man eight years after my father died”


I have met young guys who insist that their widowed mothers must never have intimate relationships or remarry.

One even called his mom a fish brain for dating a man two years ago. His father died over ten years ago but he expects his mom to become celibate for life.

I don’t blame these boys, I blame their mothers for giving them the power to control their lives. Bunch of badly raised children disrespecting  their mothers everywhere.

Many Nigerian men won’t bat an eyelid when their fathers remarry months after their mothers die. They will be compassionate and understanding of their fathers needs.

In some cases, they will be the ones to hook their fathers up with babes to keep them warm at night. They will tell you that a man can’t stay alone.

They won’t call their fathers names for moving on with their lives, having sex and looking good after their mothers die but they expect their widowed mothers to wither away sexually and emotionally.


They expect their widowed mothers to live and die taking care of them and their siblings. They also want to control what their mothers do with their bodies.

When they see their widowed mothers taking care of their bodies, going out more, dating men or having sex, they will start calling them names.

They will suddenly remember that a widow dating and having intimate relationships with men is disgraceful. They will threaten to send their mothers back to their own fathers houses.

Do I blame these guys? No. I blame the mothers who give them the power to walk up to them and start saying rubbish about their lives, bodies and vagina activities.

The way these young men insist on disrespecting their widowed mothers and their life choices is pathetic and annoying at the same time.

There’s no rule or timeline when it comes to getting remarried following the death of your spouse. Like grief, the “right time” for everyone is different. For some, it may be a few weeks, and for others, it can be several years. You don’t have to stop loving your deceased spouse in order to find love again


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