A famous Nigerian gospel singer, Osinachi Nwachukwu died yesterday. The initial report was that she died of throat cancer. While people were still sad about her demise, another bombshell dropped.
Some of her religious friends and confidants have come out to say she died after she was beaten by her husband. They revealed she suffered domestic violence in her marriage for a long time.
This is one death too many. When will men stop killing women married to them? When will women stop being complicit in their own constant abuse and death just because of what people will say?
Some women in abusive marriages will be reading the late Osinachi Nwachukwu’s story now and be telling themselves that sudden death is not their portion.
Some religious women in bad marriages who don’t know when the next blow or kick will come will be reading the story of this woman whose light was dimmed and be telling themselves that they serve a living God and death is far from them.
I don’t know what this society did to women but that thing is so strong that even women who have money, pay rent, take care of their families single handedly won’t leave abusive marriages.
I cringed one day when I read a comment from one woman in one of those funny Facebook groups where abused women go to whine, complain, make excuses for their abusers and claim they are good men who b.e.a.t them because they had a bad day.
This woman said victims of domestic violence should cover themselves with the blood of Jesus whenever their husbands are b.e.a.t.i.n.g them so that they won’t d.i.e. She said doing that protects the women from deadly blows.
Sighs.
I’m tired of saying this to women but I will say it again…
Abuse is not love. Control is not love. Alienation from family and friends is not love. Sabotaging your money making venture is not love. Disrespect is not love. Threats to hurt and k.i.l.l is not what love looks like.
Nobody owns your life and nobody should take it from you if you have the power to protect yourself. You don’t have to put up with an abusive man. You are k.i.l.l.i.n.g yourself gradually.
Even as you making money to be financially independent as a woman in Nigeria, develop mental strength, grow a thick skin so you don’t care about what irrelevant people say about your decision.
Live for you.
Live for your loved ones.
Live for your children.
There’s no marriage in heaven.
Osinachi Nwachukwu didn’t deserve to die like this.
Osinachi Nwachukwu shouldn’t have stated with an abusive husband.
Osinachi Nwachukwu had her whole life ahead of her.
Osinachi Nwachukwu had loved ones and children take care of.