I was chatting with my female cousins when one of them asked about my dating life. I told her that I just broke up with my BF of 6 months. Then she asked “what rule did this one break?” And I replied “4 and 6”.

My cousin’s wife was there, they had a pretty short engagement. They knew each other for 4 months, and at that time were married for 3 months (so 7 months in total). She asked what my female cousins meant by rules.

So I told her that I have a list of 9 rules, if a partner broke one of them I break up with them. I told her that I came up with them while recovering from an extremely abusive relationship, because I did not want to get into another one again.

Then she asked me about what those rules were and I told her.

Cousin

 

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Well, fast forward to last weekend, I went home again but noticed that my aunt was giving me the cold shoulder. I am a direct person, so I went to her and asked her what she had against me.

Well she said that thanks to me sharing my “unhinged” rules with her DIL, her son is going through a divorce.

I told her that all I did was talk about myself and my convictions, and if her DIL left her son, then that is between her son and his wife, and to not try to pin it on me.

Now she and her son are calling me an AH, and my cousin is really broken up about it. So AITA?

Edit 1: Since it seems like a lot of people are going to ask for them, here are the rules:

1- I leave at the first sign of physical abuse (doesn’t matter if it’s just a shove)

2- I leave the first time they use slurs against me (btch, cnt…)

3- if they try to monopolize my time or try to get me to cut off my ties with other people, I am out

4- if they cheat, I leave. Doesn’t matter if we have been together for a week or 30 years.

5- if they don’t pull their weight when it comes to house chores, I am out (this one if done on purpose, I am willing to help them learn to do better, but I won’t nag nor repeatedly ask them to do what they should do)

6- if they try to guilt trip me or use manipulative language, I am out.

7- if they try to control my finances, I leave (this does not include trying to get me to stick to a budget we make together, but more financial abuse and control)

8- if they do not have boundaries with their parents when it comes to our relationship, I leave.

9- if they don’t respect my privacy, I leave. (Think wanting to track my location 24/7, wanting to give them detailed info on who I will be hanging out with, when and where to an extreme degree…)

I don’t think that any of these rules are that weird, it is just what I don’t want in a partner.