In Nigeria, when a woman says she doesn’t want to have children, people look at her as if she has said something abominable.
The fact is that a lot of women don’t want to have children but were pressured into doing so by society and family expectations.
But a few ladies are staying true to themselves and are refusing to give into societal pressure of getting married and having children.
10 women shared with us why they don’t want to have children and their reasons are valid.
Ifeoma, 30
I know I didn’t want kids since I was 16. I don’t have a maternal bone in my body. I’m not like a mean person or anything, but that’s just not me. I literally cannot picture myself being anyone’s mother.
Those who don’t understand are quick to tell me that I will eventually change my mind. It’s over a decade later and I haven’t changed my mind. They also say I will eventually get lonely and regret my choice, but I really don’t see that happening.
Prisca, 25
I was 20 when I realized I don’t want biological kids. I usually tell people the main reason is that I think it’s selfish to have biological children, especially when you could just adopt.
The real reason I don’t want them, however, is my awareness of just how unstable I am mentally. I wouldn’t want to burden a child with my genes. Honestly, both reasons are equally true.
My mother initially thought it was just a phase, but knowing that I am open to adopting with a partner made her a lot more open to the idea. Everyone else I’ve told thinks I’m insane.
Shade, 33
I’ve known I didn’t want kids for almost two years now. The main reason is that I’m tired of looking out for people and sacrificing my happiness for others, especially entitled family members.
Brenda, 40
When I told my parents twenty years ago that I didn’t want children, they started crying. They said I have been bewitched. They called our pastor and that one started praying. I just laughed. I told them I didn’t want children especially girls who are endangered species in this world. Will I adopt, maybe later but not now. I love my peace and quiet and I’m not missing anything.
Obiageli, 28
I realized that I didn’t want kids about five years ago. I love children. I love seeing them happy. I love playing with them but I don’t see myself as a mother. It was painful to accept that if I really wanted to have a fulfilled and happy life, I’d be better off not having them. I’ve made peace with my decision.
I also can’t understand why anyone, especially a 3rd world citizen, would want to bring another human into this messed up world. How do you look at all the evil happening in this world and think a child deserves this?
Ijeoma, 35
Whenever I tell people that I don’t want children, they accuse me of being selfish. But I’m not selfish. I’m just truthful to myself. I don’t like stress and having children is stress. Taking care of them and worrying about them and their safety until you die is very stressful. I don’t want to go through that. Also, the economy is not smiling and I don’t want to be comfortable bringing children into this world to suffer.
Brenda, 30
I realized that I didn’t want kids like three years ago. I just don’t see the point in having them. Like, what’s the purpose? Some people said it’s so I won’t be lonely in my old age. But I see a lot of old men and women who are lonely without their children so that reason is not valid to me. I don’t want to have children, period.
Michelle, 32
Since I was a teenager, I knew that I didn’t want to get married or have children. I’m not missing anything. I’m not maternal. I can’t imagine myself going through the rigours of pregnancy and running around in a house with one man and children for decades. That’s pure torture. I want to live a free life and people should stop judging me for my decision. It’s my life not theirs.
Ibukun, 34
I feel so sad when I read about the evil perpetrated against children in this part of the world. It breaks my heart that innocent children are suffering at the hands of adults who should care for them and protect them.
I don’t want to have children because the world is an evil and scary place, so why would I want to bring a child into it? Why do I want to bring a child into pain, suffering and poverty? I don’t have money but I’m comfortable taking care of myself.
Adewunmi, 27
I feel having children is a lot of responsibility and I’m not sure I have the capacity to handle it. I might adopt a child later but right now, I don’t want to be called a mom.
Also, this world is already over-populated and reproduction is not actually necessary. We need to take care of the existing children here on earth instead of adding more.
