“Recently, I have been feeling so low about life, living and the future. I am scared for my future. I am so scared about how my life will be next year, in two years’ time, in five years’ time, and in ten years’ time. I am tired of hoping for the best. I am tired of staying positive and hoping for the best.
Sometimes, I feel like I did something horrible in my past life to be rewarded with such an unfulfilled life right now. It seems that no matter how hard I work or how hard I try, things are static for me. I watch other people make progress and move forward with their lives but it seems I am stuck in a place. Heck, I think I am even going backwards.
Looking back over the years, I feel like things get worse for me every year. The things I could afford effortlessly three years, two years and last year, I am struggling to afford them now. It looks as if the harder I work, the harder things get. It makes me feel helpless and hopeless.
I feel particularly bad about how some family and friends treat me. I watch in surprise as the people who I think love me and want me in their lives are only with me because of what they can get from me. I watch in shock as family members disrespect me because I don’t have money to help out when there is a need. I really feel bad about that.”
I am not lazy. I am hard-working and I am meticulous about my work. I enjoy what I do but it doesn’t pay me much. Right now, I am feeling stuck in a loveless marriage because I don’t have the finances to leave and start my life all over again. I have two children and they mean the world to me.
My girls are the reason I am still sane. Sometimes, when I think of just walking away from everything, I stop thinking about dying because of my girls. The thought of leaving them alone in this cruel world scares me. I am just holding on because of them. I love my girls with my life.
Right now, I can’t even provide for their needs because my salary is nothing to talk about. I am doing a job by the side but it is not enough too. I am sad when my girls ask for something I know they need and I can’t provide it.
I also feel bad about staying in my marriage and setting a bad example for my girls. They see the way their father treats me and they are not happy about it. This breaks my heart. Where do I go? What do I do? How do I make money to take care of myself and my girls? Why is life so hard?
I need help but who will help me without expecting anything back in return? Life sucks!”
