He’s worried about supporting his boomer mother who refuses to get a job and has no savings.
In his Reddit post, he explained that he recently had an epiphany that he will one day be his mother’s retirement plan. He admitted that one of his friends from work recently put his mother in long-term care because of some health complications. His friend shared that he was grateful that he could sell her house to pay for it since he wouldn’t have been able to afford it on his own.
“That got me thinking about my mom. When her current boyfriend dies, she won’t have any money to sustain herself and doesn’t have any savings or property,” he wrote. “She worked only four years in her life so no pension contribution.”
His mother has spent years living with various boyfriends who support her and take care of the house. Her current boyfriend had enough money for the pair to purchase a home, but they decided to travel instead. Unfortunately, after suffering from some health complications, her boyfriend can no longer work and they now live on his disability income.
The man tried to convince his mother to get a retail job somewhere that wouldn’t require a lot of effort, like Walmart or a local thrift store, so she could start earning a bit of money. She, however, was unwilling and argued that she never had any desire to work when she was younger and wouldn’t start now.
“I don’t think I can afford [to take] care of my mom for the rest of her life, and I really don’t want to,” he candidly shared. “Plus I feel that she will put stress on me and my wife’s relationship. My wife and I went to school, got careers, and bought a house without any help from our parents.”
“We didn’t sign up to take care of her because she decided to never work,” he continued. “When my wife and I decide to have kids, I would never expect my kids to financially support my retirement.”
Regarding this son and his mother, she made her choice long before she had him that she didn’t want to work to provide financial stability and would prefer to have romantic partners support her. It’s unrealistic for her to expect her son to support her in her retirement, especially in the economy that we’re living in with the cost of most things steadily increasing. It’s not sustainable for him to support his mother while also attempting to keep his family afloat.
While it’s natural to feel a sense of obligation to support family members in need, there are valid reasons why this son shouldn’t be expected to financially support his mother, particularly given her lack of effort to secure her own financial stability.
