In a recent post on Reddit‘s “Am I the A—–“, the woman, 37, said she was invited to a “pre-drink/bbq”-type event through her 38-year-old ex, which doubled as her first time meeting his friends group.
Before things started though, the woman said the host messaged her ex, saying they felt “bad” because “there may not be enough food for everyone.”
The woman said that didn’t bother her and she just “assumed” that meant they’d arrive after the other guests had eaten. In fact, she said her ex “originally said we would just eat together” at a street festival.
But, when they arrived, the meal hadn’t begun.
When food was first served, she said that only eight people sat down to eat, not including her and her then-boyfriend. Afterwards, the four people who hadn’t eaten were invited to help themselves to, as she put it, “the leftovers.”
“I know people are all raised differently, but this struck me as so odd,” she wrote.
The feeling wasn’t mutual.
“My ex went and got some food on a plate and said ‘come eat,’ ” she wrote. “It was so uncomfortable. I politely said, no thank you! And carried on my conversation.”
However, she said her ex was “so bothered by her reaction” that it “ruined the whole evening for him” and “we actually broke up after that (he broke up with me).”
She went on to say that while, yes, the entire evening was “bizarre,” she couldn’t tell if she’d actually done anything wrong. Although many commenters agreed that the situation was confusing, most thought her ex’s “odd” behavior was the big issue.
“It sounds like he’s not good at communicating since that is something so small that CAN be sat down and talked about,” one commenter wrote. “You even politely said ‘no, thank you’ without stating explicitly why to avoid hurting anyone’s feelings (and you did not have to with strangers, honestly).”
Others believed that there was something else going on: namely, that maybe he hadn’t been on the original guest list, or had even invited himself.
“The fact that the host had messaged really makes it sounds like the ex was told ‘sure, you can invite others if you want but I only have food for 8,’ ” one reply read.
A few commenters also took issue with how the host and other guests handled things, but others came to their defense, saying everybody was probably just trying to make the best out of an awkward situation.
“It must have been incredibly uncomfortable, not just for you, but also for some of those eating,” one person wrote. “They must have felt very odd eating their meal while people were standing around with nothing to eat.”
