A young lady is second guessing her decision not to allow her boyfriend move in with her due to his bad hygiene habits.
“I (29F) have been in a relationship with my boyfriend “Mike” (31M) for about a year and a half. We’ve been talking about moving in together, and he recently brought it up seriously, saying he wants to take the next step.
At first, I was excited, but now I’m having doubts, and I’m starting to feel like I might be the *ar ale*. Mike has some habits that I’ve found hard to deal with, even though I love him. He doesn’t clean up after himself-like, at all.
I’m not talking about minor things like leaving a cup on the counter; I’m talking about leaving dishes piled up for days, clothes all over the floor, food wrappers everywhere.
He never takes out the trash, even when it’s overflowing. And when I try to ask him to help out or even just clean up after himself, he acts like I’m asking for too much. He says things like, “I’m just not a clean person,” or “That’s your thing, not mine.”
I’ve tried to have calm conversations with him about it, and while he agrees that it bothers me, nothing ever changes.
I’ve also noticed that he spends most of his time on the couch watching TV, and if I ask him to help with something, he’ll either put it off or say he’s “too tired” after work.
I’ve talked to him about moving in together, and I told him that I’m just not sure if it would work because I don’t think I can live with someone who won’t contribute to keeping the space clean or help with daily tasks.
He got defensive and said I was making him feel “like a burden,” and that he was willing to “try harder.”
But honestly, I’ve heard this before, and I’m not convinced. I love Mike, but I’m starting to feel like it might be more of a hassle than a joy to live together. I don’t want to be the person who does everything while he just chills out.
I also don’t want to become resentful. I’ve tried talking to him about it, but now he’s hurt, saying I’m not giving him a fair chance and that he feels like I don’t trust him.
I’m just not sure if this is something I’m willing to put up with long-term. AITA for refusing to let him move in unless he changes these habits?”