You need to get up close and personal with your partner if you are serious about your relationship. Keeping a relationship requires that both partners make conscious efforts to keep their love alive. While falling in love is easy, keeping the love aflame is where the work is and many couples are at a loss about what to do about that.
That is why it is so common that couples just live routine lives.They are so used to each other that they no longer make efforts to spice up their relationships. But this can be a recipe for disaster if not checked.
Chase, flirt, love and play with your partner just like when you first fell in love with them with these 10 easy ways and watch the magic return to your relationship.
1. Learn each other’s love languages
Everyone expresses affection differently: the official Five Love Languages, as first introduced by Gary Chapman, are Gifts, Words of Affirmation, Quality of Time, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. And that’s great! But if you are someone who shows love through helping with small tasks when your partner actually craves a lot of hugs, that’s good to address. Find out from your partner how they want to be loved by you.
2. Show interest in the things they like
This does not mean you have to actually like it or pretend to like it yourself. But studies show that using encouraging language and asking your partner about the things they are passionate about — as neutral as you might be about the topic yourself — makes people feel closer and is a key to successful relationships.
3. Work out together
Everyone knows how important exercise is in general, but even better is having your partner by your side as you push yourself to run that extra lap. Not only are you supporting each other as you challenge your bodies to lift more or jog faster, but you are also together when your body is releasing a bunch of endorphins. Basically, you’ll associate all those happy post-exercise feelings with each other. Plus, seeing each other drenched in sweat and liking each other more is a surefire way to feel more connected.
4. Make playlists for each other
There’s evidence that listening to music has actual physiological benefits, like giving us a boost of oxytocin, which is also known as the “love hormone” due to its release during social bonding activities like cuddling or sex. One way you could add to all those good feels is by making each other playlists, aka the modern day mix-tapes. Music is so personal, and you can immediately feel a newfound closeness to your partner when you listen to a playlist they made of the music that got them shaking their head.
5. Reveal one new thing you each want to try in bed
It’s a no-brainer that fulfilling each other’s sexual fantasies is a bond-booster. If having the talk up-front feels too stilted or broad, you can take individual surveys and share only the results of the things you both are open to trying and take it from there directly to the bedroom.
6. Text less, call more
On one hand, texting and messaging is great because it opens the door for contact where it didn’t exist before. On the other hand, it can also make you feel like you always have to talk, even when you don’t have much to say at the moment — not responding just feels rude. If you are having a busy day at work, instead of texting which will just stress you out, consider calling them when you get home instead. It will feel a lot more fulfilling and intimate, especially because you’ll have so much more to catch up on.
7. Say a few creatively nice things to them every day
All compliments are always welcome, but challenge yourself to go beyond “you’re beautiful” or “you’re smart.” Think of how they inspire you to change for the better or how they look in a specific shirt. How can you not feel close to someone who so clearly and uniquely appreciates you?
8. Do more eye-gazing in bed
According to sex therapists, eye contact during sex may not feel the most natural, but it is a crucial part of bonding in bed. Uninterrupted eye contact can be freaky, but if you’re in a position like missionary or cowgirl where you are positioned to look directly at each other, try to fix your gaze on their eyes, even if it feels a little awkward at first! It’ll help build a stronger feeling of trust in a moment when you are potentially the most vulnerable.
9. Bring in the mutual friends
Even if yo are super infatuated, solely depending on each other for company adds a lot of pressure and can start to feel isolating as a result. Studies show that there are huge upsides to hanging out with other couples or groups of mutual friends, like finding your partner more attractive as they crack jokes with their best friends forever.
10. Treat them like a great friend instead of your one best friend
Think of your platonic best friend. Do you spend an hour every night complaining about your day to them? Do you vent every single frustration and insecurity to them the exact moment you feel it? Or do you do some of those things, but balance them out with lighter topics and activities, so, you know, you actually enjoy spending time together?
Ironically, talking to your partner about everything, all the time, without any sort of filter ever actually decreases intimacy, according to therapists. And it’s not hard to see why; it’s incredibly exhausting. So, just avoiding draining your partner with all of your problems.
