Women are more desperate for marriage because of how they were raised and socialized by their families and societies at large.
1. Marriage benefits men more than it benefits women.
2. There are slightly more males in Nigeria than females. There are slightly more males on earth than females. (I’m bored of arguing this. Before you argue this fact with me, do a little research. Google can help you here.).
Based on points 1 & 2, men are supposed to be more desperate for marriage than women, but it is the other way round.
Do you know why?
Over the years, many societies have socialized women to believe that marriage is what validates them. These societies brainwashed women into desperately wanting marriage. This “brainwash” damage will take years to undo.
In simple terms, women are more desperate for marriage because of how they were raised and socialized by their families and societies at large. It’s got absolutely nothing to do with population or what they stand to gain.
Marriage in patriarchal settings actually reduces women. Still, these patriarchal societies make these women desperate enough to crave this institution.
Have you noticed how uncomfortable many men get whenever I make a post stating how marriage validates them, and how there’s wife scarcity?
Many of them argue it with the last drops of their blood. Because they might not tell you, but most of these men are actually happy that women are desperate. It gives them the feelings that they are doing any woman a favour by marrying her.
Besides and without societal restrictions, widows cope better than widowers. It is much more easier for a widow who has a child to remain happily unmarried for the rest of her life than it is for a widower to remain unmarried for the rest of his life.
A lot of women get married mainly to have their children within wedlock and to be validated by their societies, and to avoid being judged as useless not necessarily because they fell in love and wanted to be married to a man.
The widow already has her children within wedlock, and so, the society will not judge her so hardly.
Men crave marriage. It benefits them more. It’s an injustice that a gender who benefits less from marriage has been made to be more desperate for it.
Take away the socialization and the validation, most Nigerian women will NOT want marriage.
I know this is difficult to digest, but it’s the truth.
Written by Nkechi Bianze.
