10 signs you have given up on your marriage
It is not unusual to meet people who have given up on their marriages. These people have tried their best to make things work but it looks like their efforts are not yielding positive results, so they just give up in frustration.
Some people are still married, living together as husband and wife but they have given up on their marriages. They live like flat mates and only communicate when it’s time to buy things, pay bills or pay children’s school fees. Sex is out of the equation for these couples.
Are you wondering what is happening to you and why you don’t feel for your husband the things you felt for him in the past when you both started dating, you may have given up on your marriage?
Here are the signs you’ve given up on your marriage.
You are married to something else
When you have given up on your marriage, you are either married to your work, your children, your friends, to your fitness journey, or just anything or any place or any person other than your partner. Something else is clearly your priority if you have thrown in the towel on your union.
You have no routine together
There are plenty of routine activities that you could sync up to get time together, but you don’t. You don’t even stay in the same room not to talk of going on dinner dates like couples in love. You don’t eat together. You don’t go to bed at the same time. You don’t even watch the same TV show. You go to separate rooms and watch your own shows. You don’t go to the gym together. There’s nothing that binds you and your spouse.
You don’t touch each other
Not only have you not had sex in months or years but you don’t even hug, kiss, hold hands, touch or play like you used to do in the past. You do nothing as a couple. If you pass each other in the hallway, you go out of your way to give each other plenty of room or excuse each other as if you are colleagues passing each other at the office.
You don’t care when your husband is down
When your partner is down, you don’t ask questions. You ignore him even. If he tells you he’s fine, you are good with that even though you know it isn’t true because it is an easier route for you than helping him through his issues.
You never ask where he is
If you get home, and don’t find your partner there, you don’t text him or call him to ask where he is. He may not come home for a full day, and you won’t check in to see where he is. You are so used to his absence and abandonment that you don’t feel you are missing anything if he doesn’t come home for days. Things are that bad between you two.
You would rather not talk to him about your marriage
You have gotten to the point that talking about the issues that hurt you in your marriage is meaningless. You don’t have it in you to talk to your man about your flailing marriage. You don’t even discuss it at all and when he wants to say something about it, you shut him down.
You would rather do your own thing alone
You always choose the activity you want to do, and do it alone, rather than doing something that will involve you and your spouse. You just don’t want to be close to your spouse. You love doing your own thing, at your own time all by yourself.
You become jealous of happy couples
When a friend tells you how happy she is in her marriage, you scoff. You warn her to watch her husband closely that he might be deceiving her. You try to hurt your friend by sowing seeds of doubt and distrust in their hearts against their spouse because it’s your subconscious’ defense mechanism. It’s too painful to think about happy marriages when you are sad and have given up on your marriage.
You talk to each other like roommates
If you have given up on pet names, sweet tones, playful teasing, or any type of language that softens up talk about things between you and your spouse, you have given up on your marriage. If someone were to hear you talk to each other, they would believe you were just roommates. That’s how bad things have gotten between you and your spouse.
You refuse to talk to your friends about your issues
The worst aspect of giving up on your marriage is refusing to talk to your loved ones about how much you are hurting. You don’t even want to talk to your friends who care about you, and can see that your marriage is struggling. You insist everything’s fine, and quickly change the subject whenever they ask about it.
You don’t speak up when you are angry
When your partner upsets you, you don’t say anything. You just go somewhere to soothe your own pain, like a bar, the cinema or a friend’s place. You don’t feel the need to tell him how much he hurt you because you feel there’s just no point to letting him know your true feelings. You have become numb to the pain.
You barely see each other
You hardly see each other even though you live together. Even though you barely see each other, you don’t feel like doing anything about it. You have decided to just let life take over your schedule, rather than creating time for your husband.