The Nigerian woman is a stranger to choices. Other people make choices for her and she has to follow these choices without asking questions.
If she asks questions or tries to do what is best for her, she is called names. She is expected to confirm to other people’s choices and decisions with meekness.
According to Esiri Ukueku-Uduaghan,
“I keep saying it, the average Nigerian woman cannot differentiate coercion from choices.
Coercion and conformity is such a norm from childhood, that a lot of us do not understand what freewill means. We have never experienced it. We were not brought up with the liberty to exercise freewill.
Even the way and manner our educational system is structured does not foster logical reasoning or independent thinking. It does not teach you to think for yourself, it tells you when to think, what to think and how to think.
We do not practice a communal system that appreciates and promotes individuality… We operate a system that prohmotes a bandwagon mentality.
That’s how we have been doing it…
It’s our culture so you must …
The bible says, so you must …
That’s how we do it in our family…
I am your father/Mother so you do as I say…
I am your elder so you must…
She/He is your Mother/Father In law so you must bla bla bla or he /she will…
I am your teacher, if you do not bla bla bla I will flog you…
I am your lecturer, if you do not bla bla bla, you will flunk this course…
I am your husband, you must submit to me…
If you do not do bla bla bla, soceity will say, village elders will say… Umu ada will say…. family will say…so you must…
Your whole life, you do not know what it means to make a choice.
You have no idea what it means to do what you want to do, void of religious, cultural, societal coercion.
The Nigerian woman is a stranger to choices, she is held bound by an invisible straight jacket.
Coercion is the standard way of life and so they call their actions flowing from coercion, choices.
Choices under duress…
It would have been funny, if it wasnt really and truly so sad.”
Written by Esiri Ukueku-Uduaghan
