Assumptions destroy relationships but communication sustains them. Stop assuming things you should talk about with your friend, partner or spouse.
If you don’t understand someone’s attitude or behavior, ask questions. Don’t assume the worst of them without hearing their own side. Sometimes, things are not as they appear.
I complained about something to a friend and she told me to take care of myself. She even advised I skip the gym to rest well.
I didn’t hear from her after we talked. I was expecting her to check up on me but nothing happened. I got angry with her because we chat everyday. I didn’t check up on her either.
Later on, thoughts of her kept flooding my mind. I sent her a message on WhatsApp accusing her of abandoning me. I asked if she was enjoying her trip because she was supposed to travel the day before.
I got the shock of my life when she told me she was on admission in the hospital. She started feeling dizzy that morning and fainted. Thankfully, she was rushed to the hospital on time.
She’s fine now. I feel awful for not communicating my feelings to her and for jumping to conclusions without listening to her. Thank God she’s alive. She has a lot to live for. This happened last year.
This year, I told myself that no matter what happens, I won’t allow assumptions destroy the good relationships I have with my friends and loved ones.
Assumptions make you doubt your loved ones.
Assumptions make you irrational. You don’t think logically when you assume something.
Assumptions leave no room for genuine communication.
Assumptions can be direct, or indirect. A direct assumption is basically a thought that a person believes in, regardless of the validity of the thought.
The thought may have no connection in reality, but the person assumes that the thought is true, and therefore responds emotionally based on the thoughts.
Indirect assumptions are the assumptions that originate from an outside source which are basically second hand information that people assume to be accurate.
Second hand information is rarely reliable, but people still often assume that what they hear from others is portrayed accurately.
How to undo assumptions
Communicate your feelings to your friend, spouse or partner in clear terms without accusing them of what you are assuming they did.
Take second hand information with a pinch of salt. Don’t believe what other people say about your lover, spouse or friend completely. They might be wrong.
Communicate more. Assume less. If something is not clear to you, ask questions. Stop assuming things. Assumptions destroy relationships.
