Loni James boarded a flight from Washington state to London last year with a duffel bag, a day pack and an unconventional itinerary.
It was late March, and her plan was simple: To travel the world and go on a date with a local in every country she visited.
Days after she arrived in London, she swiped right on Tinder and met a French and British dual citizen who loved traveling. Pints of beer with him at a pub near the Tower Bridge turned into a five-hour dinner date and long conversations about previous trips.
She never saw the man again. But so began her journey — one with no specific itinerary in mind. Over the past year, James says she’s used Tinder, Hinge and Bumble to go on 34 first dates in 19 countries, a series of romantic rituals full of intrigue, surprises and cultural firsts.
There was the 13-hour date in Cairo during the holy month of Ramadan — her first date with a Muslim — with a man who charmed her with his beaming smile and “Friends” TV show quotes on his Tinder profile. Her next date was with another Egyptian man in Alexandria who blurted out that he was engaged and spent the date yearning aloud for a past love.
“He clearly needed someone to listen and I was a safe space,” James says. “I’ve had incredibly intimate and vulnerable conversations with people. There’s something special that happens when people know they’re never going to see you again.”
There was a date in the Italian city of Verona with a charming classical musician who squired her around on a scooter and gave her a nighttime tour of the city’s many historic spots.
There was also a disastrous date in Turkey with a man who became angry when she rejected his physical advances and dropped her off at his paragliding shop, promising to return. He never did. After waiting for hours in a storm, James spent the night on a bench in the store.
Her most recent date was with a South African man in Cape Town who whipped out a deck of cards over dinner and proceeded to do card tricks at the table.
But Loni James, 40, says that even the bad dates have been memorable — and that all of them have taught her something.
“In the past, I looked at dating as a pass or fail. If I went out with someone on a date and it didn’t end in a goodnight kiss, or it didn’t end in the second date, I considered it a failure,” she says. “I don’t think of that anymore. I now realize the value of going on a date and being so grateful that someone opened up and gave you their time … shared their story with you.
“I’ve learned that romance comes in many forms,” she adds. “It doesn’t have to be expensive and there isn’t a certain formula that makes romance happen. For me, it’s when there’s connection and intentionality. It is the person who listens to you, who seeks to make you feel special, who wants to bring a smile to your face with a thoughtful gesture and the person who wants to know what you think and seeks to truly get to know you.”
Loni James says she is up front with her dates about her goal to date someone in each country she visits. She promises them anonymity, and except for sharing a few photos.
Maybe her most memorable experience was the 13-hour date last year with the Muslim man in Cairo. They shared conversations on everything from online dating to Muslim culture and arranged marriages. Because it was during Ramadan, they shared iftar — the meal eaten by fasting Muslims right after sunset.
“I’ve never had a man put so much effort in a date,” she says of their day together, which also included visits to museums and a monastery, a ride in a rickshaw and a nighttime folk-dance show in the desert. “There was so much food, it was so colorful. I tried all these new things. Egyptian food is amazing.”
She’s since had dates in Jordan, Cyprus, Turkey, Switzerland, France, Italy, Slovenia, Norway, Iceland, the Azores islands of Portugal, Morocco, Tunisia, Mauritania, Senegal, Gambia, Namibia and South Africa.
She posts about her experiences on a blog and on Facebook and Instagram with the hashtag #ADateinEveryCountry, where numerous women offer comments and advice.
As a woman traveling alone, James says she is careful about safety. She shares her location with friends, doesn’t drink much alcohol, make sure her phone is charged and uses a ride-share app so she can exit a date on her own.
She communicates with men via the dating apps and doesn’t give out her phone number until after she has met a date in person. She also never allows a date to pick her up from where she’s staying.
James hasn’t returned to the US since she left in the spring of 2022. She plans several more months of traveling in Africa before heading to Asia, Australia and South America.
She hopes to turn her global adventure into a book that’s both entertaining and educational.
