God is not in Nigeria says Joy Isi Bewaji

God is not in Nigeria.

He is not in your religious centres. He is not talking to any pastor on your behalf. He is not here. At all.

God is not in Aso Rock trying to reason with your rulers. He is not at the National Assembly. He can’t stand them.

God is in America. He has a seat at the Crime and Investigation/Homicide Department of the USA.

He is helping a country that cares about its people to catch the criminals in their midst. God ensures they sentence rapists, serial killers and robbers.

That’s how He spends His time.

He is impressed with their attention to details. And he is not going to let them do it all alone.

So when a woman is raped and strangled. The police goes straight to work. They interrogate all the men in her life- ALL OF THEM.

There are no stupid dumb exceptions based on relationship and annoying sentimental blackmail strategies from people who feed on their own self importance.

“Ah! How can her husband kill her nah. Please stop saying that.”
“Ha! See how police is trying to accuse her son. God will not forgive them.”
“Her father is a man of god how can you accuse him like this?”

No. No religion and no nonsense pretentious African balderdash.

God is not in Nigeria says Joy Isi Bewaji

Evidence is everything. That’s faith.

Forensic science is Faith. That is God right there.

Anyone who tries to work like God, impresses God.

So in a case of rape all the men are interrogated. In this case of an old woman called Alice without a husband or son, the police interrogates neighbours, male co-workers and church members…

The police also interrogates boyfriends and ex-boyfriends of her daughters!!!

Investigators will travel back to the past- as far back as 20 years… travel to other states to interview an old lover of the deceased.

Amazing stuff!

They will interview random male beggars on the street close to the victim’s home, they will invite homeless men sleeping at the nearest bus stop over to the police station for questioning.

They will collect samples of DNA nonstop and run through one million profiles on their computer for a random match.

Then God comes in…sees all their efforts…and whispers to one of them to look at the evidence again.

And there they’d find one co-worker who clocked in and out of work in just 15 minutes on the day of the murder.

Why would he work for just 15 minutes on that day?

And so the police team will head to his house, where he is recording his gospel album… and find evidence- masks, blood, duct tape, and the murder weapon.

The American police will spend 20 years trying to catch a rapist or murderer, they’ll use all the technology that have been built for a safer world…

And you think God will let all of that go to waste just to be in Africa to listen to you talk about Jesus helping a grown ass woman who has refused to leave her abuser? You think He is listening to you praying to save a marriage where your husband is fucking your 8 year old? You’re waiting for God to speak to you directly to confirm if you should marry a serial cheat? You are waiting for Him to help you finish your exam in a school that you’d eventually have to fuck the lecturer or pay your way to get a common Pass.

You must be drunk. God doesn’t know any of you. He is not here. He can’t live in a country with no facilities or game plan.

He is a God for people who use common sense.


Written by Joy Isi Bewaji


Woman. Journalist. Writer. Blogger. Non Conformist. Rebel. Daring. Creative. Amazing. Unstoppable.

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