Getting married to the man you love is one of the greatest feelings in the world. Marriage is a life-long commitment and the decision to get married to someone is a serious one.
Ladies, you should know that it’s not every man you come across that can complement your life and future the way it should be when you finally get married.
Before you tie the nuptial knot however, there are internal questions you must ask before taking your relationship further to avoid problems in the future.
Young lady, you need to ask yourself these tough 20 questions about your relationship before moving forward to get married.
1. Is my partner making me better or worse?
Does your partner encourage you to be your best self, or does he get intimidated by your success or triumphs and feel more secure when you are not progressing?
2. Do we really accept each other?
There will always be things you want to change about the man in your life, but you shouldn’t be in a situation where you feel you are not allowed to be authentic and accepted as the uniquely flawed person that you are.
3. Who am I?
How can you know if your partner is a good match if you have no idea who you are? Have you taken time to find out what you want out of life and what kind of future you desire for yourself before bringing in someone else into the mix?
4. Am I happy to be in this relationship?
Are you truly happy with that man or you just want to manage him because husbands are scarce? If you are always fighting or not feeling great about your relationship, do you think it’s advisable to marry that man? Marrying someone hoping that it changes things is a bad idea.
5. Am I feeling trapped?
Do you really want to be in this relationship majority of the time or do you find yourself wishing for a way out? Do you stay because you have invested time or are you really invested in your mate? Do you feel happy or trapped ?
6. What am I doing to hold us back?
Are you holding holding you and your lover back in any way? Maybe you could be more attentive, more thoughtful, quicker to let things go, or the first to offer a way out when there’s a problem. Whatever it is, take this as your sign to step up your game.
7. Is this relationship balanced?
Do you feel you are both on the same page in terms of compromise, care, support and sacrifice? Or are you doing most of the giving while your partner just sits with his hands out to receive all the time without giving anything back in return?
8. Can we have fun together?
Do you have fun together? Do you enjoy each other’s company or you stay together as if you were forced to be with each other? Is there no spark, love or friendship in that relationship anymore? Why then do you want to marry him?
9. Can we have fun apart?
Co-dependency sounds good but it’s unhealthy for you and your partner. Do you both have fun when you are apart or you don’t give each other the needed space for your relationship to flourish?
10. Why am I in this relationship?
Is it because you respect, love, trust, and value the person you are with? Or because you are afraid of being alone, worried about finances, or just to escape parental and family pressure concerning marriage?
11. Where is this relationship going?
Living in the moment is great, but eventually the partnership will need a plan or you will begin to feel anxious. Have you asked your partner where your relationship is going or do you assume he wants the same thing you want -marriage?
12. Do I really trust my partner?
If your immediate response to this question is devastating, you don’t have to marry a man you don’t trust. You can also ask why and how you can begin to build or rebuild trust. Without it, there’s no chance for a blissful union.
13. Am I with a good man?
Do you sincerely believe you are marrying a good man if you take your relationship to the next level with your present partner? Is that man you are planning to marry a good man?
14. Am I attracted to my partner?
Physical attraction is hardly the most important component in a relationship, but forcing yourself to be in a relationship with someone who you are not physically attracted to just because it feels perfect on paper isn’t fair to you or him. You will feel resentful and they will feel rejected.
15. Am I a parent or a partner?
Taking care of someone you love is a great thing to do, but when you feel like you are raising a boyfriend who might become a husband, things can get more complicated. You will resent his childish ways and he won’t like that you are mothering him.
16. Does my man have my back?
Do you feel like you are a part of a loyal team who stands up for one another, supports one another, and shows a united front (even when the other is not around)? Or, do you feel like you are constantly being thrown under the bus by your mate?
17. Are we looking in the same direction?
Some couples avoid having talks about religion, marriage, babies, finances, and work because they think that, somehow, these things will just work themselves out. By the time they realize things don’t work that way, they are in complicated, painful situations that leave one or both parties feeling duped.
18. Are we growing together?
You have the right to grow and develop, and create a full life for yourself and so does your partner. Are you and your partner still indulging in your passions individual and shared and growing as individuals or are you running around in circles?
19. Am I still me?
Being in love with someone should not require changing your identity to fit into one man’s idea of who you should be, on any level. Are you still yourself in that relationship or has your man subtly changed you into who he wants you to be?
20. What is my gut telling me?
You have intuition for a reason. Listen to yourself. Don’t ignore your guts. Pay attention to your instincts. If you feel something is not right with the man you want to marry, don’t go ahead with the wedding plans until you find out what it is.
