There are 10 steps men and women who crave loving, lasting relationships should take to make their desires a reality. But the question is, how many people have learned how to build loving relationships? Where did they learn and who taught them?
Whether we want to believe it or not, there is an art and science to building strong, intimate, and lasting relationships.
There are indispensable tips for romantic relationships that people can apply them to help them build lasting relationships that would stand the test of time.
Bear these 10 tips in mind for eternal oneness in your relationship:
1. Trust and share openly without fear
Don’t interrupt, even if you need to put your hand over your mouth to stop yourself. Learn to fight fairly. When you disagree or fight, there should be no name calling. Don’t make threats. Apologize when you know you should. If you are too angry to really listen, stop! Go into another room, take space for yourself, breathe, and calm down. Remember: your partner is not the enemy.
2. Talk and plan for the future
Couples need to know that goals are important to their overall happiness and having a contingency plan in case of an emergency will allow them to enjoy their time together more thoroughly.
3. Compliment your partner
Kind words, given at the right time, are fuel for the future to those who are fortunate enough to receive them. Giving compliments to the one you love helps to keep you connected.
4. Separate facts from feelings
What beliefs and feelings get triggered in you during conflicts? Ask yourself: Is there something from my past that is influencing how I’m seeing the situation now? The critical question you want to ask: Is this about him or her, or is it really about me? What’s the real truth? Once you are able to differentiate facts from feelings, you will see your partner more clearly and be able to resolve conflicts from clarity.
5. Develop compassion and empathy
Practice the act of observing yourself and your partner without judging. Part of you might judge, but you don’t have to identify with it. Judging closes a door. The opposite of judging is compassion. When you are compassionate, you are open, connected, and more available to dialoguing respectfully with your partner. As you increasingly learn to see your partner compassionately, you will have more power to choose your response rather than just reacting.
6. Create a bond that can’t be broken
The foundation for a thriving, growing, mutually supportive relationship is being separate, yet connected. In co-dependent relationships, each person sacrifices part of him or herself — compromising the relationship as a whole. When you are separate and connected, each individual “I” contributes to creating a “we” that is stronger than the sum of its parts.
7. Don’t expect your partner to fulfil all your emotional needs
Don’t expect your partner to fill your emotional holes, and don’t try to fill theirs. Ultimately, each of us can only heal ourselves. Your partner, however, can support the journey as you work with yourself, and vice versa. In fact, living in a loving relationship is healing in and of itself.
8. Relish the differences between you both
The differences between you and your partner are not negatives. You don’t need a relationship with someone who shares all of your interests and views. We may sometimes fear that these differences are incompatibilities, but in fact, they are often what keeps a relationship exciting and full of good fire.
9. Ask the right questions
All too often, we make up our own stories or interpretations about what our partners’ behavior means. For example: “She doesn’t want to cuddle; she must not really love me anymore.” We can never err on the side of asking too many questions, and then listen to the answers from your whole self — heart, gut, mind and body. Equally important is to hear what’s not being said — the facts and feeling that you sense might be unspoken.
10. Create quality time to be together
No matter who you are or what your work is, you need to nurture your relationship. Make sure you schedule time for the well being of your relationship. That includes making “play dates” and also taking downtime together. Frequently create a sacred space together by shutting off all things technological and digital. Like a garden, the more you tend to your relationship, the more it will grow.
This is good.