The topic of cohabitation elicits different reactions from men and women alike. While some women consider the process of living with a man before marriage a taboo, others see nothing wrong with living with their partners before tying the nuptial knot. While some studies show that cohabitation before marriage increases a couple’s chances of getting divorced early on in their marriage, others claim that cohabiting can actually be beneficial in the long run.
7 women spoke with Feminine Nigeria for and against cohabitation.
Hilda: Cohabitation shows no real commitment:
Co-inhabiting might not be a good idea if you want long-term commitment. While married couples tend to work harder at their problems, it is sometimes easier for people who are just living together to walk away because of small issues. There are no guarantees that living together before marriage will ensure a successful relationship, but the same can also be said for people who decide not to live together. I won’t live with a man who hasn’t paid my dowry, that’s a new form of prostitution.
Dorothy: Cohabitation makes sense financially
I am not a traditional woman, I love splitting bills with my partners and love interests and that is why I endorse cohabitation between boyfriends and girlfriends before marriage. Living together not only helps you to split your bills, but couples will also be able to save for their weddings. And if you don’t plan on walking down the aisle anytime soon, you can use the extra money to explore the world with your partner.
Mary: It might end up badly for the woman
I don’t know why ladies would even consider living with a man without properly getting married. That is a sin against God. With the kind of young men we have these days, they won’t even bother marrying you anymore if you start living with them. Why buy the cow when they can get the milk for free?
Even though many women see living with their partners as the next step towards getting married. They see it as a sign of how committed their significant other is to the relationship but it might end badly for them when these men abandon them and marry someone else.
In many cases, some couples end up getting too comfortable with the living arrangement, and don’t see point of getting married. Cohabiting couples tend to have a more lax attitude toward commitment and don’t work as hard to stay together.
When their relationship goes through a rough spot as all relationships do, it will be too easy to just walk away. The legal and public commitment of marriage motivates couples to work through conflict, strengthen the relationship and stay together. It feels like they already are because of the living arrangement and in the long run, the woman loses.
Anna: Living together helps you know if the marriage can work or not
I would co-inhabit with my boyfriend before marriage. Living together helps you know if the marriage can work well or not in the long term or maybe help you know what you need to work on without being labeled as married. It can help you test out and know the smallest details about your partners good and bad habits before getting married. It’s basically helpful not to be labeled as married if you break up. Worst case you will break up but you will get attached and feel like you are already married.
Mercy: Going into marriage blindly is a recipe for disaster
It is important to understand how you will live together, divide chores, sleep, argue, and handle finances jointly before signing a legally binding contract. Going into marriage blindly is a recipe for disaster. Couples should live together first and go into marriage with both eyes open. Understand the scope of what will be required of you, because nothing about your life together will change after you sign a piece of paper except that it will become a greater financial burden if you choose to part ways.
Onyinye: If you co-inhabit, you will miss out on the newlywed feeling
Because you lived together before getting married, you don’t really get to experience that newlywed feeling. Living together takes the excitement out of being newlyweds. Being a new bride and moving in with your husband to start a life and perhaps a family with those shiny new rings on your fingers to show the world your commitment, is a wonderful experience that many women still hope for. Many couples still live happily ever after marriage and you can do that too without following the cohabitation fad. You just need to know where you want to go in life, and what choices are most likely to get you there.
Omobolanle: It helps couples learn each other’s habits
Living with your partner before marriage helps you learn each other’s habits. One of the main reasons people move in together before marriage is so that they can learn or get used to their partner’s good and bad habits. It’s good to know about your partner’s spending habits beforehand so you won’t be surprised when you both finally get married. Personally, I hate surprises and I would love to know how my man behaves so I can decide if I can marry him or not. Cohabitation is a blessing for people like me.
