As a woman, do you follow your dream or your heart? Sometimes, women are faced with the dilemma of either following their dreams or following their hearts. Some of them have been advised to give up their careers and dream jobs for marriages.
In this society, it is normal for husbands to demand that women stopped working so that they can take care of the home front. It is normal for husbands to insist that their wives choose between their jobs and their marriages. It is normal for men to woo, date and marry career-minded women and arm twist them after marriage to become neighborhood shop owners. They don’t care if that is what the woman truly wants for herself.
As a woman, would you give up your career, dream job or business opportunity for your partner? If you have taken a decision about this dicey issue in the past, did you pick your career or your significant other? Are you happy with your decision or would you have done it differently?
These 10 respondents shared their thoughts on this burning issue.
Angela: No woman should make such a costly mistake
No woman should make such a costly mistake of giving up her dream job for a man. Men have a way of disappointing women who trust them blindly. I don’t trust any man these days. If you don’t want to support me to go for my dreams, please go away. I didn’t come to this world to be looking at nay man’s face. I have a duty to build myself up financially, career wise and emotionally. I won’t give up my dream job for a man. That’s suicide mission.
Maryann: I will give up my dream job for my man
I was recently offered a job in Port Harcourt, I live in Lagos now and it is really my dream job. Unfortunately, I’m also currently dating my dream boyfriend. We have been together for over three years and this relationship is more serious than any other I have ever had. There’s no promise of marriage anytime in the near future and his career prohibits him from moving to a different location, so him moving for my career is out of the question.
I talked to him about this and he told me that if I decided to take the job, he would want to continue dating, though I don’t think I can do long-distance relationships. I know that if I move, I will most likely meet someone else and be happy and if I stay here I’m sure I will find a job that I will enjoy because I’m an optimist. But this is the first time I have had to choose between love and work. I will give up my dream job for my man because I love him so much.
Obiageli: Love would trump career every single time
For me, love would trump career every single time. So long as the love was good because for me good love is way more important than any job. Long distance love may work out fine for some people but I don’t see myself doing that. I can get another job when I set my heart to it but I might not find my true love ever again. It is not debatable.
Jennifer: I would choose my man over work any day
I have never had a job for longer than four years, although I have never had what I would consider a dream job. But to me, jobs are temporary. You might get the dream job, and then get laid off next year. Or you might discover it’s not what you actually wanted, or you might change your mind about what you want out of a career as you age. It’s just not likely that you will stay at the job for the rest of your life.
However a partner can remain with you for life going through the ups and downs of this world. If I am dating or married to the love of my life, I will give up any dream job for their sake. Relationships are meant to last for a lifetime and I believe that there are still good men around us. I would choose my man over work because work is less important in the long run.
Beatrice: Love is more important
I have been in this situation in the past and I later found out that the dream job wasn’t as good as I thought it would be and I missed my partner terribly. After a few months, I resigned and returned to the city where my partner was. In the end, after one year apart, he moved to the city where I got the job and we stayed together for another five years. Long distance relationships are tough, and the distance makes it very difficult to enjoy our relationship. I would give up a job if I miss my partner more. Love is more important.
Adanna: Money is the most important thing to me
The most important thing for me is making money. I won’t give up a dream job or a business opportunity that will fetch me good money because of a man. I am not a hopeless romantic. Money is the most important thing to me. I can live a happy life when I have money. I would choose the business opportunity in a heartbeat. My life is revolved around my business. If you don’t have your own money as a woman, men will mess you up.
Vera: I made the mistake of leaving a good job for my boyfriend
I left a good job for a guy I was dating for four years. That was the greatest mistake of my life. I became sad, depressed and useless to myself. Everything he did annoyed me. I felt unfulfilled and this affected our relationship in the long run. He broke up with me one year later. I felt like I lost my life when this happened. There’s nothing like dream man but there’s a dream job and I won’t make the same mistake twice.
Abisola: We don’t have to choose, we can have both
Why does we have to choose? I chose to go for my masters in another country knowing full well it meant at least two years of a primarily long-distance relationship for me and my partner. We talked about it and decided we would do long distance relationship. But it was never a decision between being with him and pursuing my education. We are two people. Yes, we who chose to share our lives, but that doesn’t keep us from being individuals with our own lives as well the one we share. We just saw this time apart as a temporary challenge to our life-long relationship. I followed my dream and we are happier for it.
Helen: I will go for my dream job and leave my boyfriend behind
I will go for my dream job and leave my boyfriend behind if he’s trying to make me choose between the job and him. I know many Nigerian men are fond of doing this but I don’t think it is right to make a woman choose between her dream job and her relationship. The decision has to be hers to make. She shouldn’t be emotionally blackmailed to give up something important to her for a man.
Cindy: Why did I go to school if I have to abandon a dream job because of a man?
This issue is a simple one. I don’t like men who dictate to women what they should do about their lives. Why did I go to school if I have to abandon a dream job because of a man who will leave me tomorrow? That doesn’t make any sense to me. I am not that stupid. any man who demands that from me is my enemy. he wants me to be useless to myself financially so that he can start abusing me.
