Why Nigerian women must conduct background checks on their men

It is important for Nigerian women to conduct background checks on their men to avoid stories that touch the heart.

Many women have ended up in police net or in jail because they were naive and didn’t dig deeper into the lives of the men they were dating or married to.

They believed the tales these men told them only to be caught in the web of their crimes and shady deals. It’s okay to believe what your man says but don’t be naive and foolish.

It is a known fact that many Nigerian men do serious background checks on the women they intend to marry, but with recent happenings, there’s need for ladies to objectively dig into their men’s background as well before dating or saying ‘I do’.

No woman should put her life put in jeopardy because she is desperate to get married. Find out what exactly he does for a living. If you are no clear about how he makes money, ask him more questions.

You may not necessarily do this particular finding yourself, send trusted family members or even pay agents to snoop around on your behalf. It might save you from embarrassment in the future.

A lot of young men are fronting businesses or offices as a cover while they are hard drug dealers, internet fraudsters, kidnappers, armed robbers, gigolos and hired killers.

Some women are languishing in jail today because proceeds of such businesses were lodged in their accounts, stolen phones and laptops and even hard drugs were found in their possession while the men who committed the crimes are on the run.

You should know how to do a background check on someone you are dating. Don’t just take their words for it especially if your gut keeps telling you something is wrong. Run discreet background checks on your boyfriends and fiancees.

This is how to do a background check on someone you are dating:

*What does he do for a living? How does he make his money? Who is his employer or who are his business partners? Where’s his office located? Try to meet some of his colleagues.

*Do you know where he lives? Have you visited him unannounced what was his reaction? Try to meet his neighbours and friends. Don’t say you are minding your man only.

*Have you met his parents, siblings or extended family members? Did they welcome you well? Do they have values and morals? Do they respect others? Have visited his family in his absence?

*Find out if your man is family oriented. Find out if he cares or does not care about his parents or if he is barely available for them even when they reach out to him. Any man who can abandon or speak to his parents without  respect can do same to you and not care one bit. Don’t claim that your love can make him change.

*You have to find out too if he has a mind of his own or if he’s easily manipulated and controlled by his family. Some mothers are so controlling that their sons would literally seek their approval to even have sex with their wives.

*Find out if he’s in debt. Some men are heavily indebted that they get dragged around every day by different people including their neighbors. Do you want to live that kind of embarrassing life?

*Find out if he’s extravagant and living above his means. This is a sign of big trouble when you both eventually get married. He might spend all his earnings trying to please people who don’t matter.

*Does he believe his neighbors properties are also his? Does he borrow things from his neighbours without thinking?Is he always shamelessly knocking on neighbors doors to borrow things he doesn’t return?

*What is his likely reaction when provoked or doesn’t get what he wants? Does he have any mental disorders? Is he hot tempered and uncontrollable when angry? Does he have obsessive compulsive disorder? Is he very controlling, narcissistic, spiteful, unforgiving, emotionally or physically abusive?

*Is he married, divorced, separated or he’s a serial monogamist? A serial monogamist once he gets bored or unhappy moves on to something new and fresh. Is he’s a baby daddy, how many kids does he have and how many women are involved?

*Do you suspect he’s gay or bi-sexual? Has he given you reasons to suspect he’s fronting you as a cover? Decide if you can deal with that in marriage or not and deal with it immediately.

*Does he eat your food for free without contributing financially? Is he always telling you what he would like to eat, but never contributes a dime, neither does he give you money for upkeep or food allowance? It is appalling that some men feel they have no financial commitment to women who are financially buoyant and they carry this mentality into marriage.

*Do you know if he’s into substance abuse? Is he always high on something like hard drugs or alcohol? You should use your tongue to count your teeth, old habits die hard.

*Do you fight and threaten his numerous girlfriends while with him? Is that the kind of life you want for yourself? You should get ready to fight more even in marriage to keep him. Just be prepared for whatever you decide to get into.

Do not ignore these signs while dating and be quick to call your marriage quits on grounds of irreconcilable differences for signs that were there all along.

These are very important information that should guide and prepare you for the future. Don’t close your eyes to his abnormal behaviour and call it love and attention.

Some men need to see psychiatrists, psychologists or counselors for serious intervention. Many are ticking time bombs, just a little spark and they explode. Know who you are dealing with. Don’t be blinded by love, money, sex and the desperation to be a Mrs.

Women should learn how to run relationship background checks without feeling bad.