10 reasons women who suffer domestic violence choose to remain married to their abusers

Mrs. Ogbaoso has been a victim of physical abuse for years.
She recently left her abusive husband and started her life afresh with four children.
Even though she left with her life intact, she had lost one ear and some teeth to her abusive husband of ten years.
The blows he dishes out to her daily left her deaf in her remaining ear and her face is full of scars to show how much of a survivor she was.
Mrs. Ogbaoso thought people would be happy she left a marriage full of abuse just to remain alive to raise her children.
But she was wrong. It was like she had become a plague that other married women avoid.

Woman suffering from domestic abuse

Her family members disowned her for bringing disgrace to them. They don’t want to have anything to do with her or her children anymore.
Her neighbours banned her from visiting them so that she doesn’t become a bad influence on them and their marriages.
Her friends deserted her. They always come up with excuses anytime she wants to meet up. They tell her that marriage is for better for worse.
Her church members murmur anytime she came to church. They judge her with their looks. She’s even told to stop ushering in church because she’s a bad example to women.
Her siblings have refused to pick her calls. They keep telling her to go back to her husband and pray for him to change.
Her business associates start withdrawing from doing business with her. Her abuse story and survival doesn’t move them.
Mrs. Ogbaoso is now confused more than ever. She doesn’t understand why her loved ones, the church and her friends want her to go back to suffering domestic abuse after losing her ear as well as her self esteem for years.
Now, she’s regretting having run for dear life. Saddled with four children to cater for, she is considering going back to her husband.
Does this anger you? It should! What are you doing to support that victim of domestic violence around you?
The next time you ask why a woman didn’t leave her abusive husband, ask yourself if you fall into any category above.
We all have a role to play to end abuse against women in Nigeria. Save a life. Don’t send a woman suffering abuse back to her abuser. She may not live to tell her story.

Kate

I am a writer, a journalist and phenomenal woman. I don't conform to societal stereotypes. I am passionate about women and the issues that plague womanhood in this part of the world. Engage and be awakened.

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7 Responses

  1. uju says:

    The fear of what people will say r d reason some of them r dying… I still luv her courage… Your life nd happiness matters alot

  2. Helen says:

    Mrs. Ogbaoso took the greatest decision. She should block her remaining ear to the haters and enemies of progress. They are so waiting for her obituary but they have failed.

    If marriage is for better for worse, it also says till death do us parts meaning if she died, they will be parted, then the partner can remarry if he/she so desires.
    In other words, she can decide to listen to those hypocrite if the convenant of marriage says “all in life or in death”.

    • Kate says:

      Exactly Helen. it’s till death do them part and not when one partner kills the other person. Life doesn’t have duplicate.

  3. Amaka Ejimonye says:

    until women stop hurting fellow women and starts supporting women suffering from domestic violence, the plague won’t stop. We must make deliberate effort to support and help women in abusive marriages so they they would have the courage to leave their abusers.

    • Kate says:

      You are right. Women need to stand with each other and stop treating women who left abusive marriages with disdain. It’s heartbreaking.

  4. juliet says:

    I didn’t look back,i left and glad I didn’t. Fuck society and what people might say. Am happier than ever.

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