10 ways to handle shame as a woman
Shame makes you uncomfortable. It’s a soul eating emotion. It is deeply rooted, buried where no one can see it. You pretend it’s not there because you don’t want to face it. Dealing with it is uncomfortable, so uncomfortable that you just don’t want to read this article.
You have to know that if shame stays where it is, unseen and unexplored, it will continue to affect you. You criticize yourself. You go into wrong relationships. You feel unworthy of love and respect because of this negative feelings. You make choices that keep you from fully living.
Shame is personal too. It’s a feeling of humiliation—that you’ve done something wrong or that there’s something disgraceful or embarrassing about you. It’s the secret emotion that can eat you inside out like a poison.
But you can untangle yourself from feeling shame by following these steps
Be courageous about your life
Be courageous about your life and the things you have done. Be true to yourself. Admit your mistakes. Move on from them and offer yourself compassion and love.
Fill in the gap
Find out what you are ashamed about. Take a step back from being completely consumed by shame so you can gain clarity about your situation. Discover what triggers those shameful feelings and deal with them within you.
Own your story
Shame doesn’t appear from nowhere. It’s a form of conditioning that inhabits your mind, heart, body, and spirit. There is a story behind those feelings of shame which you have carried for a long time. Begin to tell yourself that this shameful story doesn’t have to define you. Remember that who you are is not this story.
Find your road to freedom
When you realize you don’t need to live the story of shame and you become aware of the sensations, the heaviness of this identity begins to dissolve. It’s your road to freedom. Tell your body to stop feeling ashamed for things you have been through in life because you are a survivor.
Speak good things to yourself
You may have been used to criticizing yourself internally because of shame but learn to speak positive things into your life. Dwell in a place of peace and serenity. Be Start to live a positive life as much as possible and the critical thoughts will begin to lose their power.
Know why you isolate
Living with shame is lonely and isolating. It makes you believe that no one would want to get close to you, which justifies your pushing them away by being critical and judgmental.
Recognizing the urge to isolate is essential to moving through shame. Because it is a sign that your shame identity has taken charge. Form a new and healthy relationship with yourself instead. Be more available, authentic so that you can enjoy true connection with others.
Let go of fear
Shame and fear often go hand in hand. You’re afraid of being seen for who you are. And at the same time, you fear being alone. You are afraid you are damaged goods, and doomed to a life of misery. But you have to let go of the fear of not being enough, not being loved and not being wanted. Let go and live life to the full.
Find strength from being vulnerable
Don’t pretend to be strong but find strength by being vulnerable. Remember that whatever you feel is your present moment experience. Resisting it creates suffering, and welcoming it leads to inner peace.
Be yourself. Accept your truth. Don’t allow your bad experiences define who you are. Shift your attention away from negative thoughts, and embrace your current experience as it is. You don’t have to hide anymore.
Be honest with yourself
When you live in shame, you are constantly lying to yourself. Healing from shame means being brutally honest with yourself, your past, your present and your future. Live in the truth of yourself as a complete, whole, full, pure, and capable human despite the things you have experienced in life.
Open your heart
Begin to live with a heart wide open. Move your attention outside of your head to notice the beauty around you. Let yourself be touched by the simple experiences of daily life.
Shame is a filter that keeps you from enjoying life, and dissolving that negative filter makes you available and receptive. As you open your heart to enjoy life afresh, you will begin to notice love and acceptance.