Why you don’t have to drain yourself trying to heal another person

Dear woman, you don’t have to drain yourself by playing healer in your relationships. You don’t have to place such enormous responsibility on yourself.

When I see women who believe that they are super humans and that they have the duty to heal damaged men, I shudder. Don’t listen to the lies this society tells you.

It’s okay to see the potential in another person and try to make them better but you don’t have to force it. The person might not be seeing what you are seeing.

It is not your job to make someone grow when they don’t want to do so. It is not your job to make someone drop a vice if they are not willing to make efforts.

A relationship should be about building together and growing equally. It should be about making each other better and complementing yourselves.

Don’t lose yourself trying to upgrade and unwilling person. Don’t lose your mind and sanity trying to make another person better. You will regret it later.

Don’t drain yourself trying to heal a man

It is good to help another person, but you also have to look out for yourself. Don’t settle for relationships where you are the saviour. You will drain yourself.

Women have to be clear about what they want from relationships these days and stop hanging their future on feelings and emotions alone.

It is important to know that doing some things in relationships will drain you emotionally and psychologically. Trying so hard to heal an unwilling damaged man is one of the ways to drain yourself fast.

It’s okay if the man you are dating is making efforts to heal his hurts and pains and is depending on you for moral support but it’s not okay for you to take on the role of his healer without him doing anything about his issues.

You cannot heal a man who doesn’t want to be healed. You cannot save a man who doesn’t want to be saved. You also cannot keep a man who doesn’t want to be kept. Doing all these will drain you.

Ladies, don’t forget how special you are. Don’t forget that it takes two willing, committed and sensible people to make a relationship work. It is not your duty alone to make your relationship work.

You are not a superhuman. You were not given special relationship talents. This is one of the lies society sold to women long ago and many women have suffered trying to heal unwilling damaged men.

Don’t drain yourself by trying to do the impossible. Help but don’t drain yourself on the process. You matter too. Look out for you. Protect you.


Woman. Journalist. Writer. Blogger. Non Conformist. Rebel. Daring. Creative. Amazing. Unstoppable.

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