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If you give up your dreams for a man, it will end in premium tears

What do you do when your spouse doesn’t support your dreams? What do you do when the man you love is against you bettering your life, making money and furthering your education? Will you give in to his demands or tell him to go to hell?

This scenario is common in Nigeria. Many Nigerian women are dating men who feel threatened by their desire to make money. Many women are married to men who believe their place is in the kitchen and the bedroom and that they have no business making money.

Most Nigerian men are threatened by the intelligence and success of their wives. They feel so insecure that their women are climbing higher in life that they seek for ways to clip these women’s wings like they call it.


They start complaining about being disrespected and talked to anyhow when in actual sense, they are angry that their women are making more money than them. This is because they have been raised with the mindset that women should be dependent on men.


Some men start accusing their successful wives of using their star to shine. Others hang adultery accusations on the necks of these women. Some threaten to end the marriage if their women don’t stop working.

These men invite family members to come and emotionally blackmail these women into giving up who they are, what they are doing to make money as well as their future plans just to keep their marriages with the enemies of progress they unfortunately married.

They do all these just to reduce these women to nothing, render them useless financially and make these women dependent on them. We know these things, it didn’t start today. They call it submission but I call it bullshit. It’s a ploy to keep women financially dependent on insecure men with abusive tendencies.

Nigerian women should stop giving these insecure men the pleasure of destroying their lives and dreams. It’s not worth it. If they threaten to leave the relationship because you don’t want to give up your money making venture, show them the door.

Ladies, as you go through life, remember that you need all the help you can get from your partners. You also need good relationships. You need to draw strength from the support of those who love you and support your life goals.


A woman who has the undying support and loyalty from the man she loves can take on the world and win. This is because he’s her greatest cheerleader. He gives her strength when she needs it. He stands by her and encourages her to do the impossible. This is the kind of man an ambitious woman needs in her life not an enemy of progress.

If a man decides to run with you, let him. Don’t judge him by the actions of your abusive or disrespectful ex. Don’t judge him until you have a reason to do so. If he’s good, kind, supportive and secure in your success, live a good life with him.

But when he stops running and tries to take you back to where you started, trash him. You should remember why you started running in the first place and continue your journey. You don’t need to abandon your dreams or lose who you are to keep an insecure man in your life.

Don’t let any man deny you the right to dream and pursue your dreams. Don’t listen to those people who keep telling you that a woman shouldn’t be more successful than her man.

They will turn you into a shadow of yourself. You will get to a point that you begin to ask yourself why your life is the way it is because you lost your way.

It is not written anywhere that a woman shouldn’t be rich, successful and happy. Don’t let them deceive you with that famous religion and culture talk. You have the right to live your dreams.

Any man who doesn’t support your dreams doesn’t belong in your life. You can’t be supporting him to be the best he can be and he’s stopping you from living your dreams. That’s not fair.

You must not give up your dreams for a man. If your partner refuses to support you, leave him. Never give up your dreams for the sake of a relationship.

A relationship should help you chase your dreams and not be a place that keeps you chained. If you give up your dreams for a man, it will end in premium tears.

Written By

I am a woman who is passionate about empowering other women to live their best lives and be free from unhealthy societal expectations. I'm a journalist and a columnist with a reputable media house. I educate, inspire and encourage women to embrace their uniqueness fully. I am a mother to an intelligent girl. I love perfumes.

1 Comment

1 Comment

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  2. Ebube

    March 27, 2021 at 5:21 pm

    thank you

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