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Thoughts and opinions

Ladies, don’t make your healing about men

Dear ladies, don’t make your healing about men or getting men to love you back. Heal to become a better you for yourself.

Develop a better relationship with yourself. Stop working on yourself because you want to find a man who will finally know your worth and treat you right.

Don’t get me wrong, that’s a good thing. It is a beautiful thing to love and be loved back in return. It is pure bliss to be in a loving, respectful, committed relationship where your partner matches your efforts.


But you don’t have to live your life getting better because you want to land a man. There’s nothing wrong with desiring a good man to spend life with but don’t centre your development around men. Don’t do it!

It is easy to lose yourself like that. It is easy to forget why you went through the rigours of healing yourself in the first place. It is easy to move the focus away from yourself and weave your life around a man. That’s not a healthy way to life your life.

There’s so much more to you than being a good woman to a man, whether he is a good man or not. There’s so much more to your life than living to the expectations of men. You are worth so much more than doing things to appeal to men.

It is important not to make your healing about a man because when you eventually get into a relationship with any man, you will still have your own sense of identity and maintain it.

When you heal for you, you won’t lose yourself when you get into another relationship. You won’t go against your intuition because you want to be loved. You won’t lose who you are because you want to please that man at all costs.

Woman, heal for you. Put in the work to heal yourself so that you can be a better woman in every area of your life. Develop your own sense of being. Become the woman of your own dreams.

Men will come and go, but you…you are always going to have yourself. So, heal for you. Heal your heart. Heal your pains. Heal your wounds. Heal your mind. Do things that make you feel better.

Woman, love yourself and heal for you. You deserve it!

Written By

I am a woman who is passionate about empowering other women to live their best lives and be free from unhealthy societal expectations. I'm a journalist and a columnist with a reputable media house. I educate, inspire and encourage women to embrace their uniqueness fully. I am a mother to an intelligent girl. I love perfumes.

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