Mom Refuses To Let Teen Daughter Apply For Colleges Because She’s ‘Immature’ And Too ‘Easily Manipulated’
A mom revealed that she has some reservations about sending her teenage daughter off to college because she’s easily manipulated.
Posting to the subreddit “r/AmItheA–hole” (AITA) — an online forum where users try to figure out if they were wrong or not in an argument — she shared that her daughter is entering her senior year of high school and is starting to narrow down her college choices; however, she’s hesitant about her daughter living on her own.
The mom refuses to let her daughter apply for colleges for fear that she’s too ‘immature’ and would be ‘easily manipulated.’
In her Reddit post, she explained that her 16-year-old daughter is starting to apply for schools as she enters her last year of high school. With a late birthday, she would be graduating and moving on to college at the age of 17, something her mom fears might be an issue.
“She is a very smart girl and I’m proud of what she’s accomplished. But she’s also young and naive in a lot of ways,” the teen’s mom pointed out. “She’s easily manipulated. She doesn’t pay much attention to her surroundings. She can’t stand up for herself. She constantly calls or texts [me] and her father for help with things.”
She claimed that her daughter could be susceptible to dangerous situations and peer pressure from her friends when she goes away to school, especially since she already doesn’t hold her daughter’s friends in high esteem. “I’ve met them and they are not good kids. I’ve told her to stop talking to them but she refuses and tries to go behind my back.”
For these reasons, both she and her husband have decided that their daughter isn’t going to college until she’s no longer a minor under their care, and will be able to attend in Fall 2024 instead. The teen’s mom insisted that she isn’t trying to stifle her daughter, but just wants her to be safe.
After noticing that her daughter was filling out college applications, she decided to break the news to her, telling the 16-year-old that they weren’t going to let her go to college until she was old enough to decide for herself.
“She started crying and yelling at me but I refused to budge. I don’t think I’m being unreasonable and honestly, her reaction is more evidence of immaturity,” she continued, wondering at the end of her post if she is in the wrong or not.
Despite the mother’s valid concerns for her daughter, her decision could do more harm than good.
While the mother’s reluctance to send her daughter to school is understandable, especially since she is still a child, it’s still important to consider the balance between parental protection and allowing your children to experience a sense of independence.
The mother’s worries are valid, especially since college campuses can present new challenges and temptations that may not have existed for her while she was in high school, but delaying her daughter’s attendance could inadvertently hinder an opportunity for her to experience personal growth and development of valuable life skills that one would only learn by going off on their own and attending college.
Rather than completely stalling her daughter’s college plans, the mother should consider having an open and honest conversation with her child. By having this conversation, together they could be able to explore options that will address her safety concerns while still allowing the daughter to pursue her academic goals.
This could involve researching colleges known for their safety measures or just discussing certain safety precautions that she should keep in mind when going off to college, including not leaving her drink unattended, the dangers of giving in to peer pressure, and a myriad of other cautious advice.
It’s clear that this mom loves her daughter deeply and wants to protect her from potential harm. However, it’s also important to remember that growth can sometimes only come from stepping out of one’s comfort zone and facing stepping challenges head-on.
