A Nigerian woman reveals why she doesn’t want to have kids  

A Nigerian woman has revealed why she doesn’t want to have kids. In the wake of a recent viral video where a Nigerian boy abroad was destroying his mother’s things, it has come to light that he is a victim of parental abuse. He stated his own side of the story and I believe him. I believe him because a lot of Nigerian parents are abusive.

A Twitter user Ukwu Ose stated that she doesn’t want to have kids because she’s scared she might end up like her abusive mother. Read her post below:

“Anyway, perhaps I should say this. One reason I never want to have kids is because I’m scared I will end up being like my mum.

She suffered severe parental abuse and unfortunately, she continued the cycle. Now, we, her kids have to pay for it. I never ever want to be that person.

You people can’t see the connection between the way our parents were aggressive towards us and the madness that is in the default DNA of every Nigerian.

Police/SARS, agberos, cultists, soldiers, teachers/lecturers, government officials, politicians, can’t we see the link?

Nigerians grow up in violent households and then start wondering why their country is filled with so much violence.

A Nigerian woman reveals why she doesn’t want to have kids

Your parents abuse you. Your teachers abuse you. Your employers abuse you. Your police abuse you. Your politicians abuse you. Violence is a unifying language.”


Unfortunately, she’s right. Many Nigerians are violent people who justify violent acts against children. They hide their abusive tendencies under discipline. Some people believe kids should be beaten and humiliated so that they will have good manners.

Parents abuse their children with the excuse of raising them right. Some people hail them for not sparing the rod. They claim that their own parents beat them like criminals, humiliated them, inserted pepper into their eyes and vaginas but they turned out well. Sighs.

Teachers abuse their students and some people justify their actions by claiming their own teachers inflicted injuries on them but it was for their own good. They claim they are better persons because of what their teachers did to them. Sighs.

Nigerians justify parental abuse but when policemen and SARS officials as well as touts unleash violence on men and women, they start wailing on social media. Why?

When politicians and government officials violently attack other people, these same Nigerians justifying parental abuse will start making noise on social media while typing long, conflicting epistles.

Violence is discipline. People who were raised in violent homes grow up to become violent people. Aside violence, most Nigerian parents are manipulators. They emotionally blackmail their children all through their lives. These parents don’t respect their children or their opinions.

It is sad that instead of breaking this cycle, we are still making excuses for parental violence. We are still hell bent on using force and outdated parental techniques to raise today’s children. It is so sad.

Today’s parents need to do better. They need to love and protect their children. They need to respect and honour their children’s wishes. They need to make their homes conducive and warm for their children. They need to befriend their children and stop pushing them away with their actions.

Nigerian parents should stop the emotional and psychological abuse of their children. Some children don’t heal from these childhood traumas and they continue the cycle of violence, aggression and abuse with their own children.


I am a woman who is passionate about empowering other women to live their best lives and be free from unhealthy societal expectations. I'm a journalist and a columnist with a reputable media house. I educate, inspire and encourage women to embrace their uniqueness fully. I am a mother to an intelligent girl. I love perfumes.

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1 Response

  1. Ebube says:

    very true post

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