5 reasons women shouldn’t put men’s needs above theirs

Dear woman, don’t put a man’s needs above yours. Don’t put your life on hold because you are supporting a man to build his own dreams.

You need to stop playing games with your life and future.

You were created with talents, gifts and ability, build your own life. Go after the things you are passionate about and live the life you want. You don’t have to wait around for a man to come into your life before you start living.

Being in a good relationship is sweet. Loving a man and being loved back in return is a good thing but being useless to yourself because you are supporting a man to build his own life while your talents waste away will come back to haunt you.

If the man you are dating is only concerned about you meeting his needs while he doesn’t care about what happens to you, you need to have a rethink. You need to ask yourself if that relationship is worth your time and effort. You need to take action immediately to maintain your peace and sanity.

Here are 5 reasons Nigerian women shouldn’t put men’s needs above their own in relationships:

1. You shouldn’t be meeting his needs while he pretends not to know your needs have to be met too. It takes joint efforts to make a relationship work. If he is not on the same page with you when it comes to meeting your needs, then stop meeting his. It’s called a relationship for a reason.

5 reasons women shouldn’t put men’s needs above theirs

2. You will start to resent your partner. If you are in a relationship where you are the only one giving time, gifts, love, affection, encouragement, and money while your partner does nothing, you will start to resent him as time goes on.

3. You will start feeling like your partner owes you something. This is the reason some Naija women ask men why they don’t want them anymore after all they have done for them (this includes cooking, washing, cleaning, dumbing down themselves, having unprotected sex and sometimes abortions). Sadly, these men still dump them even if they want to be rewarded with marriage.

4. You are not being fair to yourself. Putting a man’s needs before yours is like treating yourself like a second class citizen and giving your best to another person. Does this mean you shouldn’t support your man? No. It means you don’t neglect yourself and your dreams while supporting his.

5. You are acting desperately. Desperation is killing Nigerian ladies in relationships. They are so desperate to be married that they carry their men’s needs on their heads while abandoning theirs. The sad thing is that Nigerian men see through their desperation and take advantage of them.

Women, stop putting men’s needs above yours. That’s how you get spent, taken advantage of, not valued, not respected, and not heard. The effort have to be equal. You and your man should be meeting each other’s needs.

It takes two willing and committed people to make a relationship work. You will drain yourself if you are the only one meeting his needs while yours are tossed away. If he’s not meeting your needs, end the relationship and move on. You deserve better sister.


I am a woman who is passionate about empowering other women to live their best lives and be free from unhealthy societal expectations. I'm a journalist and a columnist with a reputable media house. I educate, inspire and encourage women to embrace their uniqueness fully. I am a mother to an intelligent girl. I love perfumes.

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