Patriarchy and social conditioning has taught women to shy away from being bold about who they are, what they want, what they don’t want and stating their boundaries clearly.
This is why women put up with disrespect, abuse and name calling. This is why most women don’t want to be clear about their stand for gender equality because they want society to accept them. They don’t want to be labeled.
Patriarchy has taught men to not respect boundaries because men aren’t taught consent. They are taught to feel entitled to women’s bodies, dressing, attention, energy and emotions.
Patriarchy has taught women to shy away from being honest about their true desires and needs. They tip toe around boundaries, around getting their needs and desires met. They don’t want to take a stand for themselves so as not to be called arrogant and proud.
Socialized women are scared to verbalize their boundaries because they haven’t been given a safe space to do so under patriarchy. So, these women pretend a lot. They accept the things they don’t want just to please society. They live in deceit all their lives.
That’s why learning to exercise your boundaries is a feminist act, and is absolutely part of social change. Personal growth and social change are interconnected, you cannot separate the two. You can’t get free with just one.
This is why it is important to talk a lot about boundaries and make them part of the foundation of selfcare for women and girls. Women should be passionate about teaching other women and girls about boundaries, and helping them get better at implementing them, and getting their needs and desires met.
Many women want to exercise their boundaries in loving ways but patriarchy denies them the opportunity to do so. Women are expected to be quiet. They are expected to accept everything dishes out to them without complaining.
But that’s unhealthy. Women can get to be direct about their desires and needs no matter what someone else thinks or what a group of people expect you to be, do and act like or how they react.
As a woman, your boundaries aren’t about them, they are about you, your mental state, your emotional state and your psychological state. They are about you taking care of yourself. Setting boundaries are about you being the best you can be for yourself without feeling guilty or harassed.
Women can be free if they truly want to live their lives to the full. They can look patriarchy in the eyes and say screw you. They can live liberated lives without dancing to the obvious tunes of patriarchy and societal conditioning.
But they have to do so together. So, let’s get free together!
