If you are a people pleaser, you don’t have a mind of your own. You are always worried about being misunderstood. You have an emotional need to please others at the expense of her own needs or desires.
The danger of being a people pleaser is that you become a victim of other people’s selfish wants. These people who are also known as energy vampires take advantage of your desire to constantly please others.
When I see women who are always concerned about pleasing people even when it is killing them, I pity them. You don’t have to be liked by everyone. You don’t have to please everyone in this world. That’s an unhealthy way to live.
Here are 10 glaring signs that you are a people pleaser:
1. You apologize all the time even when you are not wrong. You do this because you don’t want to lose the other person.
2. You agree with what other people say even though, deep down you have a contrary opinion.
3. You are always trying to avoid conflict even though it means stifling your voice and lying to yourself.
4. You are quick to adapt your behavior to that of other people around you even if it goes against who you truly are.
5. You suppress your emotions when you are hurt. You don’t have the will to express how you truly feel when you are hurt.
6. As a people pleaser, you say yes to the demands of other people even when you want to say no. You just want to be called a good person.
7. You take responsibility for other people’s actions, mistakes and irresponsible behavior. You blame yourself just to save others.
8. You don’t set boundaries in your relationships. You struggle to set boundaries even when your needs are not met by other people.
9. You prioritize other people above yourself. You feel so insignificant that you believe others are more important than you. You don’t take care of yourself like you care for others.
10. You internalize other people’s criticism of who you are, how you look, how you should live, act and dress even if you disagree with their opinions.
People pleasers don’t stand up for themselves when it matters. They are always concerned about how other people see them so they live to satisfy others without taking care of themselves.
What’s wrong with being a people pleaser? You are not living your own life. You live for others. You spend time and effort taking care of other people without thinking about yourself.
Many times, people pleasers don’t establish good social support for themselves. They also find it hard to give up control and let other people take care of them.
As you go through life, you should know that while taking care of others is good and rewarding, it can also be toxic and unhealthy. Don’t lose yourself while caring for others.
Take these steps to stop people pleasing and you will be better off:
1. Love and prioritize yourself above others. Practice self love and care. You matter too.
2. Let go of the need to always please others. Stay true to yourself. Be authentic.
3. Know that you always have a choice in life and in relationships.
4. Learn to say no to other people’s requests without feeling guilty. Say no and relax.
5. Stop allowing others manipulate you and take advantage of your kind and caring heart.
6. Stop avoiding conflicts with others because you don’t want to appear like a bad person. Deal with issues as they arise and express your displeasure as at when due.