The term “enabler” generally describes someone whose behavior allows a loved one to continue self-destructive patterns of behavior. This term can be stigmatizing since there’s often negative judgment attached to it. However, many people who enable others don’t do so intentionally.
An enabler doesn’t want their loved one to endure conflict, so they manage it on their behalf or make up excuses for their behavior.
An enabler is someone who helps negate the consequences brought on by someone else’s behaviour. Enablers are people who are in a relationship with someone suffering from an addiction; however, instead of helping the addicted person, they allow them to continue their behaviour. This is the role of an enabler.
A parent who allows the other parent to abuse their children might be called an enabler. Example: He asked me to go out for one drink, but I don’t want to be an enabler, so I told him we could go to a movie instead.
But to be an enabler is selfish, because it can be done in many ways, but typically the enabler does for the addict or alcoholic to feel needed, wanted, or in control. Sometimes people enable someone who abuses drugs or alcohol to keep them sick.
Narcissists usually have enablers in their family, such as a partner, parent, child, and/or sibling. They may also have enabling friends, coworkers or employees, and other members of their social network.
It’s vital to be firm and confront an enabler about what enabling is, and offer concrete examples of how their enabling behavior has harmed the addict in the past. Education, and clear communication that avoids “blaming” language can help turn an enabler into a supporter. This is what you say to an enabler.
An enabler who understands what’s going on and still makes excuses for their loved one’s behavior is unable to properly express their emotions. There may have been the thought of confronting their loved one, but it was quickly swept away by the desire to keep them safe.
