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Why Nigerian feminists should deliberately cultivate familiarity with people of same mindset


A Facebook user Isabella Iloka has shared why it is important for Nigerian feminists to have a solid support circle in this patriarchal society.

Isabella Iloka wrote:

“First and foremost, as a Nigerian woman who identifies with feminism, YOU NEED A SUPPORT CIRCLE.

You need one or two women that will encourage you when it starts getting too hard. When you start questioning things that you know you deserve.

When you start second-guessing and when temptation to lower your standards is knacking you front and back, you need a sound voice of reason, a woman preferably, who is going to knock some sense into your head.


Not people who will make you feel like you’re stupid for demanding mutual love and respect.


Even patriarchal princesses have support circles. Women that will encourage them to endure their abusive marriages, with excuse such as ” allow him to cheat in peace, at least he gives you food money”.

Or “At least he doesn’t beat you, he just humiliates you in public.
They have circle of friends that will encourage them to quit their jobs for peace to reign.

You get the gist right?

You that is a feminist, you should get one or two of friends that will encourage you to keep your head high.

That will hold your hands when it starts getting tough. Because the truth is that your journey of feminism will not be easy. It will surely get tough.



The sole reason why some of us are pushing so hard, despite it being so tough, is so that the women coming after us will have it easier.

I know that my daughter will marry a man raised by a feminist mother. I know her battles won’t be as crazy as the one my generation of feminists are currently fighting.

So dear Nigerian female feminist, you need a support circle! Simple!

Even if you are not able to get feminist friends offline, cultivate friendship with some feminists that your values resonate with online.

Interact with them under their posts, create some semblance of rapport, even if you guys don’t become bossom friends.



Have someone you can slide into their inbox or call on phone to get encouragement or to unburden your mind.

Your family or offline friends might not understand why you are turning the rich guy down, but even a feminist stranger online can understand.

She can feel you, can relate with you and the knowledge that someone gets you, and that someone understands might be the only thing you need to overcome some tough situations.

So deliberately cultivate familiarity with people of same mindset and value system, you will definitely need it someone day.”


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